


The Baby Diaries

by BeccaNoodles



Category: Cowboy Bebop (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:00:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccaNoodles/pseuds/BeccaNoodles
Summary: But now…now she knew it would be hard to beat the fear she felt in that moment as she clung tightly to the little home pregnancy test in her hands... In other words, I put a baby in the lives of my ship, because I have the power! Enjoy (:
Relationships: Spike Spiegel/Faye Valentine
Comments: 61
Kudos: 72





	1. Prologue: Desire

Desire.

It was a terribly good thing, but a terribly dangerous thing at the same time.

Faye had things she desired in life: A win, her past, a place to belong.

Spike had his own: A dream, a woman, death even?

Though, that was supposed to be in another lifetime.

And sometimes Desire could be found in the most unlikely places…like each other.

It wasn't love, at least no one would say it was. It was something only they knew, but something they couldn't quite comprehend either.

And they were okay with that.

Why bother asking the difficult question? Seeking the difficult answer? Feeling the difficult feeling?

It was so much easier just to be. Be alive, be desired, be comforted.

The comfort of a friend who could play the part of a lover. A friend who possibly understood. This way you don't get burned by the ugly flame desire can ignite. This way you have an excuse to walk away.

They were friends. Friends there to help each other for a time…and maybe another in the future

…maybe forever in the future...

Two souls seeking something in each other, but never able to fully grab hold of it.

And whiskey was a bitch.

It only added fuel to the fire as whiskey tends to do. It only made them sloppy…and almost happy…but more than anything, sloppy.

**…**

_~Trimester 1~_

It was nearing 3am, but it was dark outside the entire day as the crew soared their way through space and back to Mars. They had just finished bagging a decent reward on a bounty head in Europa. It was now time to re-stock, re-fuel, and prep for another. Jet claimed he already had a lead on someone new, but he was still checking with his sources. Someone on Mars, quick and easy.

The team was in good spirits, there was money, food, and hope for a repeat. Faye however was in her own little bubble with her own little worries.

No. Big worries.

She hadn't been seen much that day and chose to keep it that way.

She felt naked in front of their eyes.

The woman had known fear. When she met Vicious, she didn't think anything could top the fear she felt at that moment. Then Spike left and returned, suddenly the fear of Vicious seemed so small as her and Jet watched his life slowly slip away. It was only by a miracle that he was standing and breathing in the present.

But now…now she knew it would be hard to beat the fear she felt in that moment as she clung tightly to the little home pregnancy test in her hands.

All she could do was stare. Stare at the green blinking light that read,

 _Pregnant_.

She almost wanted to throw the damn thing. It felt as if the words were being shouted at her. Over and over again. She really wished the light would stop blinking. It didn't help that she had five others lined up to the side of her, all blinking green and one of them pink. It was a different brand.

5 weeks. 1 baby.

That's what the test said.

After so long, it dropped to the floor and her head fell into her vacant hands. She wanted to scream. To cry. To laugh, something. But she just stared on beyond her fingers.

Pregnant.

Faye Valentine was pregnant.

With Spike Spiegel's baby.

**_-The Baby Diaries-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Welcome to this odd fantasy of mine where Spike and Faye have a baby, lol. I decided to get this idea off my chest while woking on another fanfic (which I don't plan to post until finished), but it turned into something I really want to put more effort into. It's a bit more "rough" if you will, but i'm working out the kinks. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!
> 
> P.S.  
> Figured I’d upgrade the pregnancy test a little because this is the future we are dealing with, but the general world of the show still pretty much feels like the 90s so it’s not updated too much haha! Might see some things like this in future chapters.
> 
> Tumblr @BeccaNoodles - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/beccanoodles
> 
> See you space readers…!


	2. Fear

_~Trimester 1~_

Faye couldn't fall asleep that night.

She was left to lay there with nothing but her thoughts which, those days, were one of her worst enemies. What bothered her more was that Spike's company might have actually made her feel better. She hated that fact, because she wanted to hate him. She didn't want to need to see him, feel him or even hear him. He infuriated and soothed her all at the same time and it was driving her crazy.

It hadn't been too long since the two began their _adventures_ , but it had clearly gone on too long.

Longer than either expected or agreed to.

In the beginning it was a mistake, then each time was sworn to be the last until it just kept happening and they just stopped talking about it. As her suspicions rose of her condition, Faye stopped it altogether, mostly by avoiding him.

Why did things always have to be so complicated, she wondered.

How could she let this happen?

How could he let this happen!?

After what felt like hours of tossing and turning and thinking, Faye finally fell asleep. She could feel them land, but she didn't care.

Sleep.

Sleep was good.

**…**

The entire gang, save for Faye, were situated around the common room table, plates of breakfast all around. Jet noted Faye was not present, yet again, as he brought out the last of the plates.

"Damn. Is she still sleeping? Where's Faye at?" Jet asked this of the room, but his eyes turned to Spike. He'd noticed the two hanging around each other more than usual as of late, but he didn't let his curiosity delve further for fear of what he might find.

Spike just gave him a blank look and shrugged. "How should I know?" he answered before taking a fork to his egg and gobbling it up.

"Sleeeepy faye-faye!" Ed called out in a gleeful voice as she gratefully ate her food.

Jet grunted as he sat down and placed Faye's plate aside and started on his own. "I'm a little worried. I think she's getting sick."

"Just cause she's sleeping?"

"She doesn't usually sleep that much, plus haven't you noticed her a little off?"

Spike gave him another blank look as he chewed then shook his head. In truth he had noticed something, but he didn't want to reveal that he'd been paying more attention to Faye than he typically would.

"I think she's been havin' stomach issues or something, I keep hearing shuffling and doors in the hall between her room and the bathroom. Plus remember we were in TJ about to eat those juicy carnitas and she couldn't stand the smell of the place? Kept insisting it smelled like dead rat! She couldn't even finish her food."

Spike paused in thought and Jet continued.

"Think it's food poisoning?"

Spike gave another shrug. "Could be."

Jet nearly nodded with a "hmm" as he continued to eat. Edward laughed in the background, "Sick Faye-Faye! Sick Faye-Faye!"

**…**

The day went on and there was still no sign of Faye. It was well into the afternoon and Jet finished prepping Spike on a new bounty. In his words, if Faye didn't show then she wasn't in, so it would be a solo job. Spike tried not to let her lack of presence bother him. It never had before, so why should it now? Yet he couldn't stop his mind from wandering to her now and again.

It was aggravating.

He told himself it was the lust talking. Like she'd become an itch that needed to be scratched. Yet, there were times when Spike found himself just wanting to see her or talk to her for the "itch" to go away.

Something was really wrong with him, he thought.

He finished strapping on the last of his weaponry before he reached for his jacket. It had been a little over a year since he'd returned to the Bebop after his final face off with Vicious. A lot had happened since then. He'd gone through up and downs with the crew, but mostly with himself. It was odd to find himself in a world where everyone from his past was dead and gone. It made him wonder what he'd done to deserve life. He surly wasn't an innocent man. Maybe it had to do with something corny, like his heart, as Faye had once told him a while back.

There he went again. Fucking Faye.

With a sigh, Spike reached into his pocked for his almost empty box of cigarettes. He lit one up and took a nice long puff, instantly feeling relief from his tension.

"Think you could put that out?"

Faye's voice carried through the echo of the weapons room, but it sounded so soft and fragile. Spike quickly turned around and got a good look at her, she looked tired and somewhat drained. It almost made him feel bad.

"Put it out? Why?"

Faye sighed and pulled her robe tighter around herself. "The fumes are giving me a headache."

There was a moment of assessment and finally Spike gave in. He took one last puff then put it out in the nearby ash tray. "Are you sick?" he questioned.

The woman pursed her lips in thought. "Yeah. Think I got a stomach bug or something."

"You should take something."

"I will."

"Kay."

He waited.

"Any reason you've been avoiding me." He stated. It wasn't a question, more of an accusation.

Faye pushed herself off the wall and turned away from him. "Sort of…"

"I can't stand you."

Spike had to give her a puzzled look. "Excuse me?"

"You frustrate me."

"I do huh?"

"Yes."

"What do you want Faye?"

This time she waited.

"You going on a hunt?" she pointed to his artillery, purposefully changing the subject.

Spike looked at his things and finished adjusting it, "yeah. Jet said you snooze you lose."

Faye rolled her eyes at this. "Whatever."

"Did you wanna come?" He didn't know why he asked, not like he needed her company.

"No, still not feeling good."

"Kay," he placed his jacket on and walked up to her. "I'll be back."

Then he was gone.

After she heard his Swordfish II Take off, she groaned and leaned her head against the nearby wall. Talking to him hadn't given her any guidance of how she should go about the whole thing.

Should she keep it?

Was that something she needed to talk to him about?

She supposed the right thing would be to tell him. Faye had done the wrong thing many times in her life, but she didn't want to do it now. How was she supposed to tell a guy like Spike he was an expectant father?

She was an expectant mother.

Mother.

The word almost stung.

"As if my life couldn't get any more damn ridiculous."

**_-The Baby Diaries-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Poor Faye-Faye. Honestly though, this situation would be so crazy for these characters. It’s so much fun to write! 
> 
> Till Next Time Space Readers!


	3. Waiting

_~Trimester 1~_

Jet considered himself a smart man, a skilled man too. He was trained to uncover and that he did, even if he didn't want to. It was simply in his nature to pick up on the inconspicuous, to seek the answer. It was a useful skill for things like bounty hunting, interrogating, or spotting a liar a mile away, but when it came to regular life situations, he hated it more than anything.

Especially in that instant as he pulled out a disposable pregnancy test from the depths of the toilet.

The toilet was jammed.

Was it his fault? Of course not, but who had to deal with it?

He did.

Jet was able to get it unclogged, but was that enough? No, he just had to go get his snake tool and cleaning gloves. He just had to know what caused the damn clog in the first place. And he just had examine the object and find out what exactly it was.

"These things are supposed to be flushable!" he yelled to the air, because it was all he could utter in the midst of his shock.

**…**

The day went on and Faye eventually found it in herself to get some food. It was like the hunger train had smashed right into her, probably because she hadn't eaten much as of late. She wanted to eat, but she had no appetite and almost everything disgusted her.

A groan escaped her lips as she found that the leftovers with her name on it were eggs.

"No thanks," she muttered, covered it again and moved it to the side. She settled on bread, nice and bland bread. Taking hold of the loaf, she went to the common room where Ed sat and typed away on her Tomato.

"Hey," she called to the young girl as she took a bite bread and plopped down on the yellow sofa.

Edward was deep in her work, but also happy to see Faye. "Sick Faye-Faye!" she answered back. Faye gave her an odd look, "sick?"

"Jet person said you were sick! The shuffling! The doors! The sleep!" she mimicked, "Sleepy, sick Faye-Faye."

Faye sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine."

At that moment Jet walked into the room but stopped abruptly when he saw Faye was there. He stared for a minute then pulled himself together as she stared back at him with a curious look.

"Uh-you're up."

"Yeah."

"Is that bread?"

"Yeah."

"I left you eggs. Did you see them?"

"Yeah."

"Got anything else to say but yeah?"

"No thanks."

"Huh?"

"On the eggs…"

"Oh. Uh it's fine. You don't have to eat it."

Faye raised a brow at this and finished her chewing. "No lecture about wasting food?"

Jet just side glanced her and shook his head. "No. Ein will eat it."

Faye gave him a look, as if she were inspecting him. "You're not even gonna get on to me about eating this bread from the bag?" She took another bite.

Jet fully looked at her. "Do you want me to?"

"Not really."

"Then no. Eat what you want."

Faye didn't question him any longer and kept on munching. Jet sat down and opened up the console to order some parts for the ships. He didn't know what to do after finding that test. He was sure it was Faye's, that was the only possible explanation. He just couldn't believe it.

 _Pregnant_ , he repeated in his head.

The idea alone made him nervous and it wasn't even his. He physically gulped. Who's was it? In his mind he felt he knew the answer, but he didn't want to believe that even more. It was like sitting at the edge of an ocean with a brewing storm.

He glanced over to her as she picked at her bread. She looked tired, he'd noticed she'd been sleeping a lot more and during their last hunt she wasn't as energized as usual. The image of her curled-up frame, practically hugging that loaf of bread made him kind of sad. He wanted to comfort her somehow, but he didn't want to confront her about the situation.

It had to come from her.

"How you feeling by the way?"

Faye looked over to him with questioning eyes but decided against any argument that she wasn't sick.

"Fine…okay I guess."

He just looked at her. It made Faye uneasy. Naked.

"I'll be fine."

She stood to walked away and took her bread with her, but left behind some crumbs.

He would have to wait.

**…**

A whole day and night passed before Spike returned, bounty money and a bag of random things in hand. Mostly things for him, but he brought back a candy for Ed and a new pack of cigarettes for Jet. Faye heard the commotion, but she hid away, curled up in her room.

"Why'd you take so long? The guy was in the area, you didn't have to stay out." Jet started as he opened the fresh pack of cigs and lit up a smoke. Ed happily rolled around in the nearby hallway with her candy bar before she opened it and sharing with Ein.

"He took off on me. Headed to the norther crater."

"Qroni?"

"Yeah. Hate that place, nothing but snooty rich folk."

Jet just chuckled, knowing how the area could be. His face fell when he realized any damage done there would cost an arm and a leg. "Wait, you didn't blow anything up did you?"

Spike glanced at him, then answered. "No. Got two parking tickets."

Jet groaned but chose to let it go for the time being. After a moment Spike spoke up.

"Where's Faye?"

Jet tensed at her name as he recalled his discovery the morning before. "Uh- think she's sleeping now."

"Again?"

"Well she was up earlier. Just missed her."

"Hmm," was all Spike answered with before he put a cigarette in his mouth and stood to his feet. He took his bag and went off.

**…**

Faye had a hard time sleeping again. It should have been easy, she was exhausted, but her thoughts became the great interruption yet again. How could she sleep knowing what she knew? Most women would be happy, but she was in no position whatsoever to be happy about it. She felt bad for thinking that way, but there was no other way in that moment.

It was too scary.

That thought alone was laughable, but it was what she felt. So, she spent the next few hours like that, lying there…thinking…and thinking.

After a while she fell asleep again, but soon woke up to nasty nausea.

"Oh shit." She muttered, before taking a near jump from her bed to rush her way to the bathroom. When she got there, it was locked. She knocked and heard Spike's voice inside but didn't have time to respond. It was all coming up, the bread, her feelings, her thoughts, she needed it to leave her system right away. Without a second thought she ran to the hanger and opened it up. She barely made it to the edge of the ship before the release. It was supposed to make her feel better, but when she finished and opened her eyes all she could see were the dark waters below her. The tiny waves that carried her puke away. It started to blur until it looked like one big black blob. Before she knew it, she felt herself fall forward. Inwardly she braced herself for the cold water, but she never met it. A pair of arms wrapped around her and pulled her back.

Her eyes were closed and there was a ringing in her ears that blocked out any sound. She thought she heard her name in the distance and slowly the ringing got quieter.

"Faye, Faye!"

She moaned quietly and slowly opened her eyes.

"Faye!" the voice called again, this time it sounded clearer and she recognized it as Spike's voice. Finally, her vision cleared with a few blinks and she looked up to find his face painted with a worried expression. All of a sudden, her senses came back to her and she tried to sit up.

"What happened?" Faye questioned quietly as she brought a hand up to her forehead. A pounding headache was headed her way. Spike released her as she sat up but stayed close in case she had another dizzy spell.

"Beats me. When I came out, I heard the hanger open then I got here and you were about to fall over into the water," he explained. He was trying to mask it, but there was slight panic in his voice.

Faye merely groaned again, "Oh…I threw up…must have made me pass out or something…" Spike was silent for a moment, then helped her up. Faye gave him an inquisitive look. "Come on," he said before he took hold of her wrist and led her back inside. She followed without complaint.

Spike guided her into the dark common room. It was night, everyone was asleep, Jet in his room, Ed and Ein somewhere odd. It was quiet, the only light came from an emergency light in the distance. Spike didn't move to turn on the main lights and Faye was glad. He gestured for her to sit down and told her to wait, before he went to his room. She sat there and watched his departing form, then waited.

He soon returned with a bag in his hand. She raised a curious brow as he sat down on the table in front of her and pulled out a tiny pink bottle.

"What's that?"

"Medicine," he answered while opening the bottle.

"What?"

"Just take it." He poured some in the little cap and passed it to her.

"No, I'm fine."

Spike paused.

"You just upchucked and almost passed out into the lake. You're not fine." He stated simply.

Faye sighed and after a stubborn silence, she took the little cup in her hands and drank the liquid. She made a face at the taste of it, but it soon passed. It probably wasn't going to help much, she thought.

"It's not that bad." He muttered.

"No, that other shit you fashion is probably worse."

He chuckled at that. "Be glad I didn't make you my beetle soup."

Faye's nose crinkled, "ew."

Spike sighed. "Yeah, kind of smells and taste like shit, but oddly settles a stomach."

The woman felt her stomach turn at the mild description and placed a hand on it as way to express that. "Ugh. Seriously stop..."

Spike looked at her, they'd never had to deal with a sick Faye before. Usually it was him who needed all the care. For a moment he wondered why he cared…probably because she had cared for him at one time. Many times.

"Sorry."

"S'fine."

A sudden tension filled the air. Neither of them had spoken much in the past few weeks and their voluptuous relationship had ceased then as well. It wasn't requested, it just happened.

Spike wondered if he wanted it to continue.

They both knew there was something that needed to be said, but they weren't thinking of the same thing.

"Well. If you're feeling better, I guess I'll head back to bed." He stood, "do you need any help?" Faye didn't look at him, she stared off in the direction of where he was previously sitting, fiddling with the little cup.

"No? alright then." He began to walk away, when her voice stopped him.

"Spike…"

The man turned in her direction, waiting. She finally looked up at him.

"I need to talk to you."

She looked so broken and he couldn't think of why. Maybe the heaviness of what they had been doing was starting to weigh on her. Maybe it couldn't just be a comfort between friends…did she…was she going to say…she couldn't say it.

He couldn't say it back.

"Sure," he answered, then sat back down.

He was going to listen anyways

Faye gave him a weird look that he couldn't quiet decipher. Her eyes searched his and he didn't know what to think of it. What was she looking for? But he didn't look away. Her eyes were sad, but terribly green and pretty.

"I…"

"Go on"

"…I'm pregnant."

A jolt.

"…Huh?"

"I'm pregnant."

**_-The Baby Diaries-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wha-Oh Spike-O! …Lol please stop me.  
> See you next time Space Readers…  
> A/N: This chapter has been revised.


	4. Confessions Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING- Mild discussion of abortion in this and the next chapter. Not graphic!

_~Trimester 1~_

"I'm pregnant."

…I'm pregnant? No, what, I'm not pregnant, she is…wait what?

It took a while for Spike's mind to wrap around what Faye had told him. Of all the things he expected to come out of her mouth, that was definitely not one of them.

It didn't make any sense, yet it made perfect sense.

He was staring like a fool. He had to stop staring.

Faye frowned deeper and waved a hand in front of his face. He had not blinked for far too long.

"Hello…"

Immediately Spike snapped out of it and practically flew up, which startled Faye.

"Huh!?"

He walked to the side of the room and back, then back again. Faye just looked at him, half worried, half curious of what he'd say next. He stopped and faced her.

"I-how-I…"

She had never seen Spike so flustered or lost for words before, it was quite interesting.

"I don't understand. We were careful." He stated with an even, but frustrated voice.

Faye had to hold back a laugh at that and crossed her arms.

"Oh really? When?"

"Most of the time! And aren't you on that-that pill thing? Don't women do that?" his voice began to reach that obnoxious high-pitched level.

"Would you keep your voice down!" she yelled in a hushed tone. Spike caught himself and took a moment to calm down. "You know it's not always effective right?" Honestly, it was the 2070s and birth control had barely made any advancements. It didn't help that she could only afford the free stuff.

"Sorry," he said after a moment. He was in complete disbelief. In truth, a part of him had wondered if Faye was even capable of reproducing. Having been frozen and all…there was truly no science behind that theory of course.

"So…you're saying it's mine?"

It was a stupid question.

Faye sent him a sharp glare and spoke to him with sarcasm and irritation oozing from her voice. "No Spike, I'm just telling you this because I felt like sharing with you!"

He flinched at her voice and held up his hands in defense, "Alright, alright, I get it."

She sighed.

"It's going to be fine."

"It's going to be fine?"

Suddenly she was small again and sat back in the sofa, looking away from him.

"I don't think we should have it."

Spike was stumped by that statement. He didn't know how to respond, that option had yet to cross his mind. He didn't know how to feel about it either.

"You don't…"

"I've decided."

"…You've…decided?"

There was a dead pause. No sound in the room. Then Faye stood up and looked at him.

"Yeah."

More silence, confused communication traveled between their faces.

"Well doesn't that seem like the logical response?" She continued, "I mean look at us, look at our life! We live in a hallow metal ship, we make a living getting involved with criminals and violence, we can barely afford to feed ourselves I mean…how could it ever work?!"

It was her turn to calm down, she took a moment, he let her

"It-it's you and…and it's me…I…we…" she felt herself on the verge of tears but fought hard to keep them back. Not now, not here. Not ever.

"I didn't say you were wrong," he finally spoke. "If that's what you want-"

A pause.

"You've already decided…"

Faye looked at him, not his eyes or face, just his general direction.

"I did."

"Okay then."

"After…I want to just erase everything…move on like it never happened. Any of it."

Spike searched for her, but she didn't dare look at him. Her expression was filled with so much emotion that he wasn't sure he'd ever seen from her before.

Possibly once in a hallway.

"Okay,"

was all he could say.

"Okay."

She confirmed.

And with that she walked away, and he didn't watch her go.

Erasing the past, Spike had experience with that. It didn't go quite as planned. The past was not so easily erased.

**…**

A day had gone by, Spike and Faye skillfully avoided each other, almost as if they were helping the other through the process. Spike woke early to avoid breakfast and bathroom traffic, then he spent most of the afternoon locked away on the bridge jeet kune do-ing his life away or cleaning his weapons in the weapon room. Faye spent most of her time in her room.

He must have shined his gun a million times already. Spike caught his own reflection in a nearby tin.

A kid.

_My kid._

She carried his kid all the time and he had no clue. Though he supposed it didn't matter now.

He wondered how long she hand known.

Now all of her recent behavior made sense. The distancing, sleeping, not eating, upset stomach and what not.

And she dealt with it alone.

It was her own damn fault, no one told her to keep it to herself for however long she did.

It didn't seem she needed anything from him anyways. Seemed to have everything all figured out.

He supposed she was right. Everything she said was true. It was the perfect solution. For them and probably for the baby too.

But why didn't it make him feel better?

**…**

Faye put on some worn jeans and a t-shirt then reached for her trusty red Jacket. She was not about to walk into a doctor's office wearing her traditional get up.

The appointment was set. All that was left to do was go.

She walked out of her room and down the empty hallway. She could hear Ed singing a song in the distance as she passed Jet's bonsai room. His door was open, and the light was on, he must have been working on them.

"Faye," she heard him call out as she passed. She squeezed her eyes, not really in the mood to see anyone before she took off.

After a moment she turned around and went to his door.

"Yeah?"

"Again, with the damn yeah's" he put down his scissors. "You're dressed, where are you going?"

Faye rolled her eyes. "Nowhere, just out."

Jet raised a questioning brow. He had sensed a different energy between Spike and Faye throughout the day. Together and separately. He knew something was off; they must have talked.

"Oh. Excuse me. Go ahead."

Faye pushed herself off his door and turned around.

"Wait."

Faye looked over her shoulder and he gestured her to come over. She hesitated, then sat down next to him. Jet and Faye had developed a closer relationship during Spike's recuperation. It wasn't as if they told one another every little thing or sipped tea over lunch and things of the sort, but there was an understanding between them, one that hadn't fully been there before. When everything you cared about falls apart, it tends to bring you closer to whatever is left.

A trust developed.

Faye trusted Jet and she could admit that. Jet trusted Faye and that was saying a lot.

"I just wanted to tell you…you're like my bonsai here."

Faye gave him a glance at this comparison, and he gave her a little laugh.

"Just hear me out. A beautiful bonsai doesn't happen overnight. There are preparations that take place before. A collected tree, for example, has to be collected first. Then even before any work can be done, one must make sure it's healthy. To make it healthy, the soil has to be the right soil, watering is correct, fertilized property, etc...Before even that, there has to potential, a vision for the bonsai. One has to be willing to take the little steps it takes to get to that point. With patience and love. I see a beautiful bonsai in you, and like the bonsai, I'd be here to help you cut around the edges if you needed it." He looked at her from the corner of his eye. "Make sense?"

Faye was mystified by what he told her. What sounded like a wordy lesson about bonsai's was actually a compliment and outstretched hand for Faye.

She wondered briefly if he knew.

"Yeah-yes…it does."

The woman stood to her feet and walked away but stopped before she reached the door.

"Thanks."

She muttered quietly. It was nice to know that she wasn't alone no matter what happened that day.

Then she left.

**…**

Spike was working on a different gun when Faye passed by and into the hanger. He could see her from the open door as she readied her ship. In her passing, she spotted him. They shared a frozen moment before she wordlessly turned away and got into her ship. Spike looked away too but listened to her go.

She didn't need his comfort or his support. He didn't need to give it to her. All was the way it should be.

After some time, Spike heard heavy footsteps as Jet walked into the small room and leaned against the wall, arms crossed.

"It's yours isn't it." It wasn't a question.

"I don't know what you mean."

"The baby."

Spike stopped.

"It's yours."

Spike exhaled and wiped some sweat from his brow.

"She told you?"

"No. I…figured it out."

"Welp. Doesn't matter, she's not keeping it." He said coldly and turned away to reach for another weapon.

Jet stood straight at this.

"What?"

No response. Jet sighed then placed his hands in his pockets.

"I see…so you agreed to this?"

"Said she had it figured out." He jaggedly cleaned the face of the weapon with a rag. "She decided."

Jet frowned at this. "And what do you want? You don't think you should get a say?"

"Not really my choice is it?"

"Well hell it's your kid too!" Jet stopped himself and sighed again, running a hand over his bald head.

"Sorry, guess it's not any of my business…"

"Yeah it's not."

"Just- if there's something you really want…you don't wanna regret not even trying."

More silence.

"Anyways, don't hurt yourself there," he finished, gesturing to the weapon Spike was tirelessly cleaning. Then he was gone.

More silence.

Spike stopped. He looked at his reflection, as if searching himself. He didn't find much, but a feeling. A strong feeling.

"Shit."

In an instant he stopped what he was working on and ran to his ship.

He was gone in a flash.

**_-The Baby Diaries-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, just quick disclaimer, I am not trying to make any kind of statement in this fic. What I personally believe regarding the topics in these chapters (and really the fic as a whole) comes last to what I think the characters themselves would feel, believe or do. Please don’t ask me about my own views or accuse me of spewing any narrative. It’s not about me and that’s not the point of this story. Thank you and thanks for reading! 
> 
> See you next time space readers!


	5. Confessions Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING- Mild discussion of abortion in this chapter. Not Graphic!

_~Trimester 1~_

Want and Need. Faye always seemed to blur the lines between the two. There were things she wanted, things she needed, things she wanted that she thought she needed.

Faye wanted to fly high and live on the edge, be a free bird. What she needed was a future and stability. Love even? Happiness? She was just a mesh of a woman caught in various phases.

Why couldn't she just have peace?

Perhaps her needs were also her wants. The two began to conflate.

This baby.

Did she want it?

Did she need it?

This baby needed her.

That was a lot of pressure. Was Faye capable of giving the baby what they needed. Was Spike?

Maybe.

Maybe was too risky.

Did this baby want her? Would they grow up and wish they'd never been born?

It was hard to answer the unknown.

Faye sat on the cobble steps outside of a local women's clinic with her head resting on her knees.

_Why did things always have to be so complicated?_

**…**

Spike couldn't fly faster if he tried, it might have been the fastest he'd ever flown, and also the shoddiest. It wasn't smart, but he wasn't thinking smart, he was just doing. He didn't know what he was doing, but he knew he needed to try and do it, act on that impulse. The best thing he knew how to do.

Or he might end up hating himself for than he did.

And hating her, which he wanted less.

There were tons of possible clinics in the area. Spike didn't bother trying to decipher where Faye might have gone, he just went to the first one that popped up. When he arrived he parked anywhere and ran. His body was full of determination, a kind he hadn't felt in a long time, he had absolutely no cool.

What was going on?

Why was he doing this?

Why did he care so much?

Then there she was. Sitting on the steps alone and he wondered if he was too late. Did too much time pass?

Trying to catch his breath, he walked up to her slowly.

"Faye."

**…**

Faye heard his steps, but it wasn't until his voice confirmed his presence that her head shot up. Without warning the tears she'd been holding in poured out like little rivers from her eyes.

He looked stunned, but quickly collected himself and stepped a little closer.

"Did…"

Faye stared.

"Am I too late?" he croaked out.

Faye took a breath then shook her head.

"I couldn't do it."

Spike held her stare, then she saw relief fill his tense body.

"I- all the women, the doctors- nurses…I just…they talked me through the process, everything was fine-said I didn't have to hear the heartbeat or-or take a look at all-but…" she stood "I don't know, something came over me! Maybe it's completely selfish, I don't know, but I just couldn't…I-I couldn't…" she didn't know when she started sobbing, but there it was.

She hated this. This feeling.

She felt naked again.

Exposed.

Weak.

Alone.

Unsure.

But, not regretful.

Then she felt him. His arms, his chest against her face, his smell, his warmth. For a man who kept dying and coming back he had unbelievable warmth.

He just held her. Tightly.

"I'm glad."

It was all he said, barely above a whisper, and he said it again.

"I'm glad."

Maybe Faye did want this, maybe she needed this, and maybe it would all be okay.

No. No more maybes.

There was no turning back. She made her decision. She was committed. She'd make sure it would be okay, with or without Spike, but she was glad he was there in that moment, holding her like he was.

And all was good in that moment.

**_-The Baby Diaries-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, short chapter, but felt it needed to end there! Just a quick disclaimer (again), I am not trying to make any kind of statement in this fic. What I personally believe regarding the topics in these chapters (and really the fic as a whole) comes last to what I think the characters themselves would feel, believe or do. Please don’t ask me about my own views or accuse me of spewing any narrative. It’s not about me and that’s not the point of this story. Thank you and thanks for reading! (:


	6. Grapefruit

_~Trimester 1~_

Spike had only known of Faye crying once in his life. The day he left she cried, though she hadn't actually shed a tear in front of him, but he heard her as he walked away. He should have held her then, but his mind and intentions were in a different place at that time, so he did the best he could to comfort her, tell her a story about him.

Try to make her understand.

The second time, words weren't enough.

It was official.

Spike didn't enjoy seeing that Faye, she wasn't herself…or maybe it was the one time she truly was herself, but he was used to the sharp, tough, loud mouthed Faye. That Faye wasn't so easily fazed, a survivor even.

Broken Faye wasn't fair. Wasn't right. Wasn't familiar.

As a man who was usually on the receiving end of her anger and annoyance, it was startling, but also kind of nice to find he was capable of giving her some ease.

Suddenly, it felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

**…**

Spike had gotten Faye something to eat soon after the episode in front of the clinic, turned out she was starving. Then they returned back at the Bebop to an anxious and curious Jet, who tried not to make it obvious that he'd been waiting up for them, but he did a terrible job at it.

When they finally told him they'd be having the baby, he was visibly delighted. It surprised them in fact how overjoyed and un-disturbed by the idea he was.

Then again, he was the man that let a woman, kid, and dog on the ship in the first place. What better addition to this odd family than a baby?

Jet surly had his reservations, but didn't voice them in that moment.

Edward eventually got into the mix, and thankfully the kid had enough knowledge not to need an awkward explanation, but she still had very specific questions that were working Faye's nerves as the days went by. Questions like:

"How many fingers do you think the baby will have?"

"CAN BABY PERSON HEAR ED!?"

"Will baby-person have Faye-Faye's loudmouth or Spike-persons lunkhead?"

As for Spike and Faye, they stopped avoiding each other, but things were still quite awkward. A literal product of their secret nights was soon going to be hard to ignore. There were still things that needed to be said, discussed, and dealt with altogether.

But for now, the back burner was a fine place for those things.

**…**

Faye finally made it into the third month of her pregnancy. She still dealt with nausea and fatigue, but thankfully her appetite had mostly returned, and she had even developed a series of cravings for candy. It really didn't matter what kind as long as it was sweet. She was also officially subjected to, as the boys called it, "Bounty Hunting Leave." It drove her a little mad, but she didn't argue much. It would be stupid and dangerous to try and put herself out there while she was carrying a baby. After a while it became kind of nice to have them do all the work for her while she rested and ate all the food she wanted without any complaint from anyone, but she let that thought marinate privately in her head. No need to upset the boys while things were going her way.

Faye closed her eyes as she let the water of the shower run over her head. It turned cold minutes before, but she was used to it by that point. After a relaxing moment, she turned the shower off and took hold of her towel, then began her usual routine. Once her body was done, she went ahead and wrapped up her hair. As she reached for her robe, she caught a glance of herself in the mirror and paused.

There was a tiny bump on her lower belly.

She forgot about the robe and wiped down the mirror so she could see clearer, then there it was again.

A tiny bump.

At first glance it looked like she was just bloated or something, but it was in fact a solid round little bump, and it stood out quite a bit in her exposer. She wondered how she hadn't noticed it before, it was almost as if it came out of nowhere. The woman turned to the side then back to the front again and took notice of how her pelvis seemed to widen a bit too. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed by the changes that already took place in her body. They might not have been too noticeable to anyone else, but she knew it and that was enough.

Faye placed a hesitant hand over the small swell of her belly and left it sit there for a while. It was unreal. The disappointment seemed to fade away, and her body was suddenly filled with an excitement that she didn't expect.

It was her baby.

At the thought Faye moved her hand like she had just touched a hot stove.

Her baby.

How could she be so scared of a little baby?

Because it wasn't unreal, it was _too_ real.

She quickly placed her robe on and went to her room. The guys were out on a bounty hunt, it was the third one that week. Jet had been on top of getting more jobs lately, and though he didn't say it, Faye suspected it was because they were going to be needing more money and fast.

She put on a pair of leggings and the baggiest shirt she had, which really wasn't as baggy as she would have liked, but the bump was small enough to hide behind it anyways. It wasn't that Faye wanted to hide the baby, she just wasn't ready to show it off and have anyone fawn over her belly just yet. After dressing, she walked out into the common room and found Ed there. The girl hung upside down from the platform of the staircase that lead to the hangar. Her goggles were in place as she gazed at the T.V. and Faye wondered if she was really watching it or not. When Ed caught sight of her, she popped her gaze in Faye's direction with a big smile.

"Faye-faye! How is baby person?"

Edward had officially dubbed the baby as 'baby person,' which no one complained about.

Faye ran her fingers through her wet hair and plopped down on the sofa, her eyes fell on the moving screen. "Fine I guess" she answered, Ed giggled. "The baby is moving around now, but Faye can't feel it!"

Faye eyed the girl strangely. "Huh?"

"Edward checked! The baby can move her arms and legs, but the mommy can't feel it yet." she giggled again then sat up and grabbed hold of her trusty tomato before she settled next to Faye. "Look, see!" she pointed out a saved webpage that seemed to display the factors of Faye's current stage of pregnancy.

Faye was a bit perplexed. "You looked into this by yourself Ed?"

Edward eagerly nodded her head. "I had so many questions, Ed decided to answer them herself!" she giggled more, which Faye sighed in response to.

"Would you calm down?" she muttered, but Ed just giggled more.

"Ed just remembered reading that the baby is the size of a grapefruit-" she spun off into more giggles and Faye couldn't understand why the notion was so hilarious to her, so she didn't try to understand. Instead, she leaned in and took a better look at the webpage.

"Wow, so you got all this info on here?"

Faye remembered a time when people could find information through the internet in a matter of seconds, but for some reason the future seemed to backtrack. There weren't even any smartphones anymore, at least not for the average person. She supposed it was due to re-civilization, many things from Earth had become hard to duplicate in other regions of space. Some of the advancements of her time seemed to be frozen in time, while others advanced on.

Ed came out of her giggle fit then shot up to a straight seated position. "Yes, yes. Faye-Faye can always use tomato to check for herself."

Faye gave the girl a smile at that. It amazed her how helpful she was being. "Thanks," she answered sincerely, then began to read over the rest of the article. She clicked on other related pages and after almost an hour passed, she had bookmarked a couple of places she could buy physical books at. Faye thoroughly enjoyed reading, so she planned to fill her time doing so. If she was going to have this baby, she wanted to do it right.

Spike and Jet soon returned, bounties collected and more food in hand. The crew was on a high, it was so rare for them to have the luxury of food and money at the same time.

"I swear, this baby must be a good luck charm. Ever since it happened, we've been bagging these fools left and right!" Jet enthused as he set out the dinner him and Spike had brought home. Ed was situated back at the open stair platform, happily gobbling her food away, while Ein flowed suit. Faye was still seated on the yellow sofa and Spike at the other end of it. He began on his food, without a response to Jet's words.

Faye took hold of the to go box Jet handed to her. "Hope you're right, I could use some good luck." She opened up her box and frowned when she saw white chicken and vegetables. Her gaze turned to what everyone else was eating and stopped on Spike's plate, which fashioned a juicy burger and fries. Her mouth instantly watered. "Hey, what's with this deal? How come he gets the good food and I get this?" Faye found no reason to mask her displeasure with the injustice.

"Not the one carrying the kid," Spike stated with a full mouth.

She sent him a death glare.

"Oh, I see how it is." She wanted to complain about how he did this to her in the first place and deserved to suffer with her, but she was suddenly aware of all the ears in the room. Instead she sat back with a huff and took an angry bite from her chicken.

"It's good for you! You need to start eating lots of protein and fiber." Jet claimed.

Faye shot him a glare next. "Oh really? And how do you know this?"

Jet grunted as he started on his own food. "I know things. I'm a smart guy…"

They left it at that then Jet spoke up again.

"By the way, don't you think you need to go to the doctor soon?"

Faye looked up from her food, which she mostly poking around around on the plate, "doctor?"

Jet looked at her expectantly.

"Oh, right…" she looked over at Spike, who had paused to give Jet his attention as well. "That's kind of important."

Spike turned with a look of confusion. "Well, if you need to then I guess you should."

Faye hesitated a second, "You don't wanna go with me?"

"Me? Why would I go to your doctor's appointment?"

"It wouldn't be just for me, it's for the baby too."

"Oh… Isn't that a girly thing though?"

"Guys go!"

"Alright! Why are you yelling?"

"Because that's supposed to be basic knowledge Spike."

"Well apparently it's not," he huffed then took a frustrated bite from his burger.

Jet looked between the two, amazed at how clueless they could be. A part of him worried when he realized they would have to be in charge of a whole other human being.

"Well I'll let you two nut jobs figure that out. Ed, gimmie your trash."

He stood up and began clearing the mess, as he left Spike and Faye ate in silence, minus the random happy mumbles that came from Edward. Faye sighed and sunk into the sofa, holding her food in her lap. It was not satisfying her hunger, most likely because she wasn't eating much of it. She glanced over at Spike and after a while she knew he could feel her stare, but he ignored her.

"Spike."

"What," he mumbled, mid chew.

"Share huh? At least a couple of fries? The scent is so strong I'm dying over here!" she called dramatically.

Spike finished chewing then glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"Oh, come on! Jet's not around." She whispered, and Spike had a moment of déjà vu. He sighed then picked up the rest of his burger and placed it in her box.

"Here."

She gasped, "really?" there was too much happiness in her voice, and he didn't know how to feel about the mild satisfaction it brought him.

"Yeah, yeah, just eat it."

Spike giving away his food so freely was a very rare occasion, so Faye did just that without further questioning and Spike rose to his feet, giving her one last look as she ate away with glee, then walked off to find his cigarettes.

**_-The Baby Diaries-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you space readers!


	7. Fatherhood

_~Trimester 1~_

After collecting his trusty pack of cigarettes Spike walked outside onto the deck of the ship. He leaned against the railing and lit up, then took a much-needed inhale. Considering Faye's condition, Jet and Spike agreed not to Smoke inside or at least in another room. It wasn't much trouble, he liked looking out at whatever scenery they were docked in front of, which happened to be alba city at that time. They hadn't traveled much, except around Mars. Since the news of the baby, Jet talked to him about sticking in one area to make things easier. He didn't exactly get what he meant at first, but now that he knew doctor visits were a thing, he understood the decision.

Doctor visits.

A baby.

It was becoming more and more apparent to Spike the reality of what he had agreed to. He didn't regret going after Faye that day, but soon after he did have to question what exactly they'd gotten themselves into. Spike was not exactly a kid-friendly kind of guy. He wasn't mean, he just wasn't the type to have kids around, with the exception of Ed. At least he never thought he was. They were often too noisy, dirty, clumsy, and overall just a big pain. And they asked too many damn questions.

Yet when he'd thought about the fact that this kid was his kid, he wanted to know. To know that kid, know that connection, know what he'd look like, behave like, grow up to be like. He wanted to protect him…or her he supposed. If he were honest with himself, a girl would only make him more nervous, but he knew deep down he'd feel the same either way.

Spike let out a heavy sigh, full of smoke and dropped his head down.

It was like all of his thoughts weighed down on him in one instant.

It was too much.

He could only imagine what it was like for Faye.

They hadn't talked much since the clinic, not seriously at least. They just carried casual conversation about how she felt and so forth. He didn't know how to act around her anymore. They carried on like normal, and sometimes it felt just fine, but then he'd remember there really wasn't a "normal" anymore.

Jet always knew what to do. He seemed to have all the answers when it came to their situation, knew things like doctor appointments or the kind of food she should be eating. He was dependable. He made you feel secure and cared for. Spike wondered if he would ever be capable of that.

Could he turn into a dependable man?

Could he offer Faye and their baby the security they'd need? Or would he just make her worry all the time?

Was he considering Faye as a part of his future?

Spike never thought about Faye as the type of woman that needed to be taken care of, but while she could be so big and bold, she could also be so small and fragile. Whether or not she needed him, their baby did and right now she carried that baby.

One thing was for sure, the two of them would forever be linked by it.

Spike had only thought about his future one time in his life.

Julia.

Although, he really hadn't done too much thinking then, he just knew they were going to get away. Live a dream, alone somewhere…far away.

What that dream was, he wasn't completely sure. It could have been a family; it could have just been freedom. Who knew, it didn't matter now.

Spike took his last puff before tossing the cigarette butt into the water, he heard bare feet walk towards him on the deck and knew it had to be Faye because of how light and quiet the steps were. He waited and within a moment she was standing next to him.

"Did I interrupt your smoke?"

He shook his head, "no, just finished."

Faye caught a whiff of the air around them and mildly cringed. Fortunate enough for her, having to quit smoking hadn't been too hard because the scent was no longer a pleasing one.

"Sorry, is the smell too strong?" He stepped back a bit.

"It'll go away."

"I'm surprised, you smoked like a chimney. You really can't stand it that much now huh?"

"Yeah, oddly I still envy you though. I could really use a smoke, candy's just not the same."

Spike chuckled lowly. "Addiction's a bitch."

"It's my own fault. Turn to cigarettes or alcohol any time I get stressed, now I've just made it hard on myself."

He looked at her from the corner of his eye and wondered about the stress she mentioned. He wanted to ask what was going on with her. What had she been thinking the past week? Was it the same type of thinking he'd been doing?

Too much thinking.

"I wanna ask you something…" she continued.

His interest peaked; she had that rare serious tone in her voice.

"Okay."

"What did you mean when you said you were glad?" she looked up at him, he looked back.

"…I don't get what you're asking…" the question puzzled him. What else could he have meant?

"It just…seems odd to me that you'd be glad-or…."

There was a silence, she faced him.

"What do you really think?" she finally asked, "about all of this?"

Spike looked out onto the water and ran an antsy hand through his hair.

"I'm still processing it to be honest. It's going to take a lot of…stuff I'm not so sure we're capable of…"

Faye didn't say anything, but she knew he was right in that regard, she thought the same thing.

"I did mean it when I said I was glad though, that you didn't…go through with it." He looked at her, "I want to see it through. I'm gonna be there. It's the most real thing I've ever had."

Faye was a bit thrown by what he said. There was something about his manner that told her he meant it. It genuinely reassured her and she didn't feel so alone.

Then he smirked, "you know I like challenges."

The moment was broken, and they were back in "Spike and Faye" mode. Faye sighed and looked back out at the water and city lights in the distance. Her mind wandered briefly to the strange time they'd had there a while back on Vincent's bounty. That life seemed so far away now.

"Yeah, it's probably going to be your biggest one yet," she responded. They stood quietly for a while and simply looked outward. Spike took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips but didn't light it.

"Hey," she spoke up again, "wanna see something?"

He responded by giving her his attention. Faye pulled her shirt tight around her waist, revealing the bump.

Spike's eyes widened and he almost lost his cigarette in this wonder. Something swelled within him, but he controlled it and let out a small chuckle instead. "Would you look at that..."

"…you're getting fat."

A silence.

"WHAT!?"

**_-The Baby Diaries-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. I love them. Hey there! Now, I do have a chapter and a half written after this, so my updates might become a bit slower as we go from here, but I will continue, just please be patient with me. Thanks for reading! I would love to hear from you!
> 
> Till next time space readers!


	8. Learning

_~Trimester 1~_

Another two weeks went by before Faye was able to set up an appointment at a local prenatal clinic for her first doctor's visit. From what she found out online, she was towards the end of what they called a "first trimester" and was a bit overdo for a check up, but what did she know? Even in her old life, she couldn't remember being too knowledgeable about pregnancy or children for that matter. It quickly became apparent to her that she would need to dedicate a lot of time to educating herself. Getting Spike to do so however hadn't proven to be so successful. He didn't mind listening when she told him things, but he wasn't the, quote "bookish type." Faye dragged him along with her to the bookstore she found anyways, which he complied to, but not without complaint.

Faye rolled out the tension in her neck as she flipped the page of one of her books. There was a medium sized basket full of them to the side of her that the bookstore lady helped her put together. Spike sat across from her as he flipped through a zip craft magazine.

Faye gasped, he looked up.

"What?"

"You know the longest pregnancy ever recorded was 375 days?" Terror filled her eyes. "What if that happens to me?"

Spike resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Oh, come on, I'm sure that's highly unlikely. What are you reading anyways?"

Faye shamelessly held up the book, showing him the title, "100 weird pregnancy facts…"

Spike reached over and took it from her to inspect the book. "Don't read shit like this, it's only gonna fill your head with a bunch of unreasonable worries."

"It's interesting!"

His eyes were still on the pages, "aren't you trying to _educate yourself'_ as you put it?"

"So what? I can't have fun too?"

"Woah. This says your head can swell to twice it's size."

Faye popped up and reached for the book at this, "What?" she quickly saw that he was lying and sent him a death glare. "Ha, ha, very funny. Give me that!" she snatched the book all the way from his hands, which he flinched away from.

He smirked, "too easy."

Faye grunted, "Don't try me Spiegel! Why don't you actually pick up a real book?"

Spike looked over to the pile of books and started rummaging through them, "I don't see what I can get out of these things, they're all lady stuff…what do I need to know about..." he pulled out a random one, "sex and the expectant?"

Faye's head shot up yet again and soon enough another book was snatched away from Spike's hands. "Not that!"

He raised a brow, "what do you need that for?"

"I don't! That lady probably put it in there," she grumbled then tossed the book away, a little too aggressively.

"Okay, then" there was some humor in his voice as he noticed her actually blush. He was tempted to push her to the limit, but knew it probably wasn't a good idea. "Why don't you buy some of these books instead of coming here all the time?"

"Don't have the money."

"What happened to the money you just got?" Spike and Jet had still been splitting their earnings with Faye even though she wasn't bounty hunting for the time being. Lately she had been doing some of the work that could be done on the ship, but they split evenly anyways since she would be in need her own things.

"I used it on the maternity clothes remember?"

"It cost that much?"

"Yeah, that stuff is expensive!"

"Ah."

The two switched back into silence as Faye kept on reading and Spike put his attention on to happenings outside.

"Shit."

"What now?"

"Have to pee again." The expecting woman stood to her feet and placed her book down, then shuffled away towards the bathrooms. Spike sunk into his seat and checked the time, their appointment was in thirty minutes, but the clinic wasn't very far. He stood up, pockets in hand and walked around the little bookshop, his curiosity soon lead him towards the pregnancy and parenting section. Where could he even start if he did want to read something? There were so many options.

A stocky older woman, who he knew as the bookstore lady, soon walked up to Spike with a sweet smile on her face. "Hi son, need help?"

Spike was a bit surprised by her sudden appearance, but collected himself and looked to the books thoughtfully. "Oh, um, I guess so…I- well she," he pointed in the direction Faye had gone off to, "wants me to read something."

The little woman laughed and nodded her head. "I understand. Let me see." She walked over to a small section of the books and looked though them for a small while then looked over at Spike. For some reason he felt the need to straighten up under the woman's gaze.

"First time father?"

"Uh- yes."

No one had really used the title of father around him yet, so it was something to get used to.

"Mhm..." she looked through the books again and started to pull one out, "the expectant father-" the woman gave him another once over, "no-" she put it back and pulled another one to hold up instead, "the reluctant father."

Spike gave her a curious look.

"Reluctant?"

"Well, you seem a bit nervous. It's very normal of first-time fathers," she walked a little bit closer to him and whispered, "especially with the unplanned surprises." Spike just eyed her, perplexed and the lady laughed. "Read this one son," she passed him the book.

"Uh- yeah thank you."

"Do you need anything else?"

"Actually," he waved her over to the table they were previously sitting at and lead the way. "Could you tell me which of these she'll be needing most?"

"Of course, let's see." The woman sorted through the pile of books, "Place out your hands." Spike did as she asked. "This will do," she placed a book in his hands, "this one and…this."

Spike took a look at the books in his hands: _A Changing Body's Woman, The Sh*t They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy, and The Labor of Labor._

"Tell her to come back towards the end for ultimate breastfeeding guide and first timers first year. Books can only tell you so much, but they're a big help!"

The man rubbed the back of his neck with a free hand, something told him he'd soon be learning things about Faye he never cared to know.

"Thanks. I'll go ahead and purchase these four."

The woman gave him another happy smile and lead him to the cash register where she rang him up. Faye arrived back from the restroom and found Spike at the register.

"What are you doing?"

"Buying some books. It's too much back and forth for you to be doing all the time," Spike replied as he pulled out his money card. Faye had taken notice of Spike's generosity as of late, it was quite nice, but for some reason it also made her uneasy. However, she wasn't about to say anything about it.

She wanted the books.

She looked over the ones he was purchasing, "hmm, well thanks."

The older woman finished bagging their books and handed it to Faye, who took it with delight. There went that odd satisfying feeling again.

**…**

The doctor's office was a bit frightening. There were pregnant women of all sizes everywhere, some couples who were either very affectionate or seemingly angered by one another.

Faye was trying not to stare, but her eyes were practically glued on a woman in the distance that looked like she was about ready to bust. What was appalling to Faye was how uncomfortable and exhausted she appeared. She pondered what it would be like for her at that point, would she be that uncomfortable too? Faye also noticed the woman was alone, she felt bad for her. Her attention then turned to Spike who seemed like he was experiencing his own trauma. She followed his glance to a couple dealing with a crying toddler. The woman was pregnant, it must have been their second child. The kid started to scream, Spike and Faye both visibly cringed. The father quickly rose with the child and walked outside; Spike could see the frustration all over the mans face.

"Damn," he muttered.

"yeah," Faye muttered back and subconsciously placed a hand over her little lower abdomen.

A while later a nurse stepped out and called a series of names from her clipboard.

"Salazar, Tanner, and Valentine."

Faye looked up at her name then stood. "That's us, come on," but Spike didn't move.

"I don't know, do you really think I should go?"

"What? Yes." She gave the room a small glance and looked back at him. "Do you really wanna stay here?"

Spike saw her point and stood to walk with her as the nurse led the way. He didn't know why he was so hesitant about coming with her to these things; it was mostly nerves he supposed. They were soon led to another nurse that would be taking care of them. She was a young woman, around Faye's age with curly brown hair.

"Hi Ms. Valentine, my name is Suzanne, I'll be taking your vitals today," she greeted with a perky energy. Faye merely smiled back and gave her a polite nod.

"Follow me," Suzanne said and took them to a nearby room. The nurse then directed Faye to take a urine sample and get her weight checked while Spike sat in a tall chair located near the doctor bed that was in the room. His attention was caught by all the informative posters on the walls, one in particular that showed the development of a baby in the womb. He couldn't help but think about how remarkable the process truly was, it was strange to think something like that was happening in Faye's body at that very moment.

The two women soon returned, and Spike noticed Faye had a grumpy look on her face. She sat down on the doctor table and the nurse placed blood pressure equipment around her arm.

"What's with you?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing."

Spike raised a brow at the sharpness in her tone, but Suzanne laughed to the side. "Oh, most mothers don't like the weight check. Don't worry girl, your actually at a healthy weight. It's all baby."

Even though it sounded like good news, Faye looked highly irritated by the nurse, but didn't say anything. Spike just smirked and decided to stay out of it, turning his attention back to the posters.

"Alright, blood pressure is good, so far you seem to be in perfect health. I just have a couple of quick questions for the doctor. Let's see-"the nurse pulled out her clipboard.

"Are you still experiencing any morning sickness, sensitivity to foods or smells?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Okay, totally normal, but your able to eat okay?"

"As long as it's not something that bothers me."

"Great!"

"Sleeping okay?"

"Like a baby."

"Awesome! Any tenderness of the breast?"

Faye had to pause at this, highly aware of Spike's presence. She glanced at him, but he still looked away and acted as if he couldn't hear. "No…a-a little." She answered quietly. The nurse nodded and wrote the answers.

"Okay- Oh! Just to confirm your age and date of birth-," Spike perked up at this, all the time they lived together on the ship, he didn't know Faye's birthday. "I see you wrote August 14th here, but there's no year on that. I mean your 25 so I'm assuming that's 2048?" She looked up at Faye, expecting a confirmation.

Faye hesitated and wondered if she should give the real year or not, "Oh, well you see…technically it's 1994…"

The nurse looked baffled at first then laughed, "oh you're a kidder, aren't you?"

Faye was not amused, and Spike simply held a blank expression when the nurse looked to him for confirmation. The fact obviously didn't surprise him, but it did feel funny to think about how Faye was born in a time his own grandmother was probably born in. He forgot sometimes that she wasn't even supposed to be there the way she was.

"No…I was clinically preserved after an accident back in…" she paused to recall, "2014 I think..."

There was a silence which Faye filled with her own awkward laughter. "I know it sounds crazy, but it happens…I mean just look at the news I'm sure you'll find something crazier." The end of her statement was laced with irritation.

Suzanne seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was previously in and joined Faye in the awkward laughter. "Oh! I'm sorry, yes of course, it's just I don't think we've had a patient like you before! Well, you're certainly a miracle then!"

Faye responded with clenched teeth. "Right."

"Well, then…as far as your medical history I will jot that down. Anything else I should now as far as your health? I don't suppose you'd be able to tell me about family medical history…?" The nurse looked more nervous by the second.

Faye started to get that look Spike now recognized as her 'tiny sad' look, and he didn't like it.

"How about me? Do you need to know anything?" he spoke up abruptly.

The nurse perked up at this, "Yes actually! Yours and your family medical history."

Oh. He didn't think she would actually say yes.

"We're pretty healthy suckers."

"Ah…okay then."

The woman looked like she was about ready to get out of there. She wrote down the information, then looked back at the two of them, perky smile back in place. "Alrighty then! I'm going to check on the urine sample, the doctor will be with you soon to check heartbeats and you'll finally get to see your little one!" With that, she left the room.

"I don't like that woman."

Faye said as she laid back on the upright bed.

"She was just doing her job Faye."

"I don't like her job then."

Spike didn't bother replying and rolled out his shoulders instead, he felt tense.

"Maybe you shouldn't come with me anymore."

"What? Why? You were so insistent about it all week."

"They ask too many damn personal questions!"

"Look you and me have already crossed a thousand lines, I don't see what difference a few more is gonna make."

Faye glared at him. He was right, but she didn't like that.

They didn't talk for a moment until Faye changed the subject.

"Pretty healthy suckers?"

Spike looked at her a moment then shrugged. "I don't really know about my family much either."

"Huh," was all she answered. The thought of where Spike had come from was an enticing one that she wanted to know about, but she wasn't going to question him.

Before they knew it an older woman, who looked to be in her late forties, stepped into the room, white coat and all. She gave them both a polite smile and moved to shake Faye's hand, which the younger woman took.

"Hello, I'm doctor Vangie Haylen, you can call me Doctor V or whatever the hell you want."

Oh. Faye liked her.

"You must obviously be our mother, Faye yes?"

"Yes."

Doctor Vangie's eyes went to Spike and she held out her hand for him next.

"And you must be our father. Name?"

He took her hand as well, "Spike."

"Spike? Weird name kid. Alright let's get this show on the road!"

The two were surprised by this woman's wacky energy, but it was better than the fake perky shit Faye felt she was getting from the other lady.

"So, I hear you're a time traveler!" The doctor started, as she messed with a machine, "that's pretty amazing, but based on what I can tell, you still function like a normal human being. Sit up for me."

Faye did so and doctor V walked over to her with her stethoscope in hand. She placed the metal part on Faye's chest, "take a breath." Faye did so and was surprised when the tool made a sound and appeared to be scanning her.

"Uh oh, we have a smoker," the doctor stated in an accusing tone. "We've stopped that behavior yes?"

Faye was taken aback but pulled herself together for an answer. "Yes, of course. Actually, I can't stand the smell now."

"Good, you should keep it that way." The doctor looked over to Spike, "does dad smoke too?"

Spike just gave her an uneasy chortle, to which she responded, "I see, not around mom I hope?"

"No, definitely not."

"Great! You can lay back again mama, go ahead and pull your shirt up to your waist, just need to reveal that little bump."

Spike and Faye were practically lost for words at all the "mom" and "dad" this woman was throwing around. Faye of course complied and then the doctor placed a cool, but soft gloved hand on Faye's belly. It seemed to be another type of on contact scanner.

"Okay, in a few seconds we'll hear your baby's heartbeat and then," she pointed up at a flat screen, "we will see a clear image of your baby here."

Clear image? Faye thought. She only remembered things like this being in black and white, but of course she wasn't in that world anymore. Her thoughts were soon interrupted at the sound of a steady pulsing.

"Is that-"

"That's your baby's heartbeat! Nice and strong, good."

Spike and Faye were still and silent as they listened to the soothing woosh of their baby's heart.

"Image will be up soon, here dad take this," the doctor spoke, breaking though the silence, and reached for Spikes hand. She took her own out of the glove and put his in instead. Spike tensed at this action, but Faye didn't seem to care much, so he relaxed.

A few seconds later an image appeared on the screen, revealing the tiniest underdeveloped baby. It was curled in, subtly moving and breathing steadily. Faye let out a gasp and sat up on her elbows to get a better look, Spike leaned in, both of their eyes now fixated on the image. It wasn't super detailed, but certainly clearer than black and white fuzz.

"That's what the baby's doing right now?" Asked Faye, completely amazed by all of this. The biggest smile had developed on her face. Spike was wearing a more focused expression as he stared at the image, mouth slightly ajar.

The doctor nodded pridefully with a smile, "yes indeed. I'll give you two a moment and be back to finish up your appointment."

They didn't even notice as she left, they just kept looking. Faye sighed and laid back, "can you believe it?" she spoke softly, almost a whisper.

Spike didn't make a sound, but he heard. His brain was racking with a single thought as he continued examining the image.

"It looks…kind of like an alien…"

Faye turned her gaze up at him sharply as he hovered above her.

"No it doesn't!"

"Kinda does."

"Spike!" she whacked his chest, "don't say that!"

He flinched at the contact and caught her hand with his free one.

"I'm just saying how he looks! It's not like I'm saying he's ugly."

"He?"

Spike shrugged and released her hand. "Just a guess."

Faye looked back at the image and considered the idea. She smiled again and this time felt tears in her eyes.

"Awe shit." She muttered with a sniffle.

Spike looked down at her, "why are you crying?"

"I'm not sad. I'm actually…really happy right now." The smile was still present, Spike couldn't help but smile too.

"You know, I think I am to."

**-The Baby Diaries-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, surprise that turned into a longer chapter haha! I’ll try to keep the chapters a little lengthy because as a reader, I know I like that. Sometimes it just depends. 
> 
> See you space readers!


	9. Bet

~Trimester 2~

After the first doctor visit, the two returned with their picture in hand, which Jet insisted should get hung somewhere for everyone to see. It was decided for it to be taped to the side of the monitor that sat in the common room, since that was where everyone usually spent their time. As the weeks rolled on, Faye’s belly became harder to tuck away and eventually she decided it was time to freely show. Of course, as expected, this gained lots of attention. Ed wanted to touch “the belly,” as she called it, all the time and Jet just kept commenting about how she was “glowing” and “growing.”

It was exasperating, but at the same time it was kind of sweet.

The crew as a whole had never been a very affectionate one, aside from Ed perhaps. Why would they have been? They were merely comrades who worked together to survive in the universe. Now, however, things felt different. More like…a family. Weird how a baby could do such a thing.

…

“Have you two decided if you wanna know the gender early?”  
Jet questioned.

Faye looked up from her book and bag of chips, she had collected three more since their last visit to the bookstore, “we haven’t really talked about it…” she looked over at Spike who was absently watching the television. “What do you think?”

Spike snapped away from his gaze and looked between Faye and Jet. “Gender? It’s a boy.”

Faye pursed her lips. “What makes you so sure?”

He pointed over to the baby’s picture. “Looks like a boy.”

“Huh?” Jet perked up and leaned in towards the picture, “Spike you can’t tell from this.”

“Yeah, there’s no proof, it’s just speculation,” Faye added.

Spike crossed his arms and shrugged, “It’s just a feeling.”

Faye scoffed. “A feeling, you just want it to be a boy.”

“You want a girl?”

“I don’t really care, but a girl would be nice. Get a break from you bozos.”

“Hmm.”

“You got Ed,” Jet chimed in, their eyes turned towards the young girl who had her goggles in place and was vividly drawn into whatever she was doing on the tomato.

“Ed only half counts.”

Jet snorted and Spike looked at Faye curiously. “Why don’t you have any girl friends?”

Faye shrugged and popped a chip in her mouth. “Women don’t like me.”

“They don’t huh?”

“Yeah. Guess they feel threatened.” She sighed and laid back in her Faye like manner.

Jet gave another snort. “Right,” he responded sarcastically, “so men like you?”

Faye scoffed, “is that a question?”

“Never mind.” He grumbled.

It was true, Faye supposed she didn’t have that friendly, approachable look that would make a woman want to talk to her. When it came to the circles she surrounded herself in, women were either her enemy or competition. Men flocked to her easily, but of course it was never with the hopes of becoming lifelong friends.

“Although after this, I’m sure I’ll rid myself of that little problem.” She stated, pointing to her belly. Jet chuckled in the corner, but Spike eyed her curiously.  
What did that mean?

Did it disappoint her?

Did he care?

“Anyways, I think I wanna know early, don’t you? It’ll make it easier to buy things.”

She was talking to him.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, sure. I’m not one for surprises.”

Faye crossed her arms in thought then a cunning smirk graced her face as she looked between the two men.

“Care to make it interesting?”

They both looked at her with a questioning gaze.

“Interesting?” Jet asked.

“Like a bet?”

“Yeah! It’ll be fun!” Faye sat up excitedly.

Spike sighed to the side, “you look a little too excited.”

“Agreed, plus I don’t know if I wanna encourage your gambling habit,” Jet added.

Faye sat back with a huff, “Sissies.”

“Sissy missy-missy sissy,” Ed mumbled in a song like voice, still in Tomato trance.

“I ain’t no sissy.”  
Jet replied, macho like.

“Yeah, no one’s scared to bet you.”

Faye looked at Spike then back at Jet with determined eyes.

“Then prove it.”

A moment.

“Oh, come on! It’s not like I can cheat you in this one! Beside I just wanna have a little fun. I’ve been good!”

Jet, “she’s gotta point.”

Spike shot Jet a warning glance, “you’re gonna bet her?”

“Well, it’s just a little harmless fun.”

“Yes!” The woman reached over to nudge Spikes arm “Harmless.”

Spike sent her a side glare then sighed and leaned back with his hands folded behind his head. “Alright I’m in. How much are we talking?”

“5,000?” Faye proposed.

Jet and Spike thought on this for a moment then Spike spoke up.

“That’s not bad. I bet boy.”

“Yeah, I’ll agree to that. I bet boy too.”

“Wait you too?” Faye whined.

“What, the guys got a good gut.”

Spike only smirked in victory at this.

“Fine,” Faye settled, “I bet a girl. It’s a deal now.” She reached out her hand, shaking each of theirs.

“ED WANTS TO BET!”

The adults of the room looked over to the young girl. Jet spoke next.

“No Ed, how many times have I said, NOT to do what Faye does.”

“Hey!”

…

Later that night Faye was still awake, eyes and mind fastened on the television. She had been up watching cooking shows for the past few evenings, the good ones were always on late and she had no clue why. As her motherly instincts began to kick in, she realized there were things she wanted to do for her child that she didn’t know how to do. Cooking was one of them.

The woman was situated on the floor between the middle table and yellow sofa, her head propped on the edge of the sofa. For some reason, the position was more comfortable for her. Everyone was now tucked away, Ed in view down the hall with Ein, Jet either taking care of something or getting prepared for bed himself, and Spike had gone off somewhere earlier, probably to get a smoke Faye assumed. She continued to watch the television with her notepad, but as the minutes rolled on, she felt herself growing drowsy. Before she knew it, her eyes closed, and she began to drift into a sleep.

This was interrupted by the sound of the common room door being opened from above, but she didn’t open her eyes and merely fidgeted. Soon enough she heard the sound of footsteps draw nearer to her and felt a presence above her.

Spike leaned down and gave Faye’s arm a light nudge.

“Hey…”

The woman groaned.

“Come on, you can’t sleep on the floor.”

“I can sleep wherever the hell I want,” she muttered.

The man sighed and she felt him sit down close by. There was silence for a while before he spoke again. “You’re watching cooking shows?”

At this, Faye’s eyes opened, and she practically shot upward to turn off the monitor. Spike was caught off guard by this.

“The hell?” he muttered.

She tucked her notepad away with her other books, then sat crisscrossed and raised her arms above her head for a stretch.

“I’m not. It was just on.”

“…Alright…”

After a good stretch and sigh she was suddenly energized.

“Do you wanna take a walk?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah. I want ice cream.”

“Faye, it’s almost midnight.”

“I know.”

He raised a brow.

…

The two had made their way to a nearby 24-hour corner shop where Faye purchased a small quart of ice cream and an in store hot dog. They sat on top of the park table that was situated outside of the shop, their feet rested on the seated part.

Spike passed Faye an odd look as she ate the hot dog and then the ice cream at the same time.

“You’re weird pregnant.”

“This coming from a guy who eats raw eggs?” she retorted, mid chew.

“Not like eat them for the fun of it.”

“Still weird.”

He grinned but didn’t respond and looked away.

A cool breeze drifted through. It was now mid November on Mars, almost four months since Faye had broken the news to him. He took a glance to her visibly grown belly; it was true what Jet said about her glowing. He had noticed it too, there was just something very bright about her presence these days. Often, he found himself wanting to give in to that light, but most of the time it wasn’t so easy-

“Do you think I’m a bad mother for betting on my child?”

Faye finished her hot dog and currently worked on finishing her ice cream.

He had to laugh.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“I’m sure there are worse mothers.”

“SO you DO think I’m a bad mother,” she accused.

He cringed, “I didn’t say that.”

Faye snickered, “I’m kidding. Mostly anyways, I do wonder a lot what I’ll be like as a mom.” Her expression turned serious.

Spike was silent for a moment, surprised by this sudden confession.

“Probably loud.”  
He stated after a moment.

She glared then turned back to her ice cream. “My mother was actually really calm and soft.”

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Shut up, I can be calm!” she defended, then sighed. “My father.”

The man held back another chuckle and smart remark.

“I actually think you’ll be a pretty good mom.”

Her gaze turned to him.

“Really?”

“Sure. I’ve never seen you as the type to apply yourself until now. The way you have these past few months.”

Faye took it in and looked away.

“I don’t wanna get it wrong.”

“Nobody’s perfect.”

“Yeah…Do you think about it? How you’ll be?” She took another big spoonful from her ice cream container.

“…I do.”

“And?”

He looked at her, she pushed further.

“What do you think?”

“I think…”  
He wanted to reassure her. He wanted to be confident.

“I think it’s scary…”  
He had to be honest.

“I think so too.”

She sighed, “it could really be a disaster…but you know when you said it’s the most real thing you’ve had…I completely understood.”

He listened closely.

“I think it’s the most real thing I have too…makes me feel like I have a purpose. Something-someone that’s really mine.”

“Yeah…”

“I think you’ll do fine.”  
Faye changed the tone and took another spoonful of ice cream.

“What makes you think that?” He was genuinely curious.

She smiled, “you’re pretty damn crafty and we’ll help each other, right?”

Something was brewing inside.

Faye wasn’t aware, Faye thought only about the baby.  
Spike saw the baby and everything else.

He wanted it right?

Did he?

Did she?

They wanted the baby, that was for sure.

“Right.”

**-The Baby Diaries-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the wait, thanks so much for your patience (:  
> So, after some thinking, I decided to let this fic be my focus since it is already out here and my sister suggested I can use it to sort of practice. It has been a loooong time since I’ve written any fanfiction (that I’ve posted). My old stuff is crap tbh lol, I think I deleted it a while back actually. (Different account, middle school ya know?), But we practice and learn! So, I will continue working on my “main Bebop fic” as I have dubbed it, but this will be my first focus for now. It got too interesting for me!
> 
> Side Notes: I have revised all the chapters before this because I felt like some things were rushed and I didn’t like how other parts came out exactly. There aren’t any drastic changes, just a change in some wording and added lines in some areas. Feel free to give it a re-read if you like, but it’s not totally necessary as far as the story goes!
> 
> Also: When it comes to the Woolong, I am treating it like a Japanese Yen. So, in this case, 5,000 Woolongs is 50 USD. 
> 
> Also: Idk if it seems like I’m putting Jet and Ed on the side lines, but I do plan to focus on them as well, just haven’t found the right moment. The story as a whole is Spike and Faye focus of course, but I do think it’s interesting to see how Jet and Ed would adjust to this situation. And no, I did not give an explanation to why or how Ed came back…yup. Okay, ima go now, this A/N is getting long!!
> 
> See you space readers!


	10. Ripple

~Trimester 2~

Faye was at a peak.

At 23 weeks, her belly popped out about seven and a half inches, but she carried it proudly. Her “morning” sickness had subsided greatly, though she still found herself sensitive to certain foods. For the most part however, she felt comfortable and more energetic than before. She started to get into these “obsessive moods,” as Spike and Jet called it, where she’d get the urge to a project of some sort.

First, it was organizing, which Jet was very happy about. The woman re-arranged and categorized the tool station then started in the weapons room, which Spike quickly brought to an end, claiming he had it sorted out a very specific way. She then moved on to the kitchen and bathroom, but after that she got bored of organizing and decided to start crafts. After buying cheap paint supplies she started painting. She wasn’t good at it, but it was a fun pass time. It lasted pretty strong until Ed decided she wanted to join in and painted walls and ships instead of canvases.

The painting was then put to rest.

Next, Faye made jewelry and put it on her and Ed when they went to take walks in the park with Ein. Ed had sort of become Faye’s constant companion as the guys became busier with bounty work. The young girl was at her side a majority of the day, mostly because she wanted to talk to the baby.

At first, Faye enjoyed the leisure time and being able to reap the benefits of working even though she wasn’t. Over time, however, she became restless. She assumed her behavior was from her newfound energy, but she supposed it could also have something to do with her being home most of the time.

The guys kept their work away from the Bebop, sometimes having to travel a couple of days at a time in their zip crafts. Sometimes it was the both of them, sometimes only one. Faye found herself feeling a little bad for them, they looked tired. In the past, she probably wouldn’t have cared at all, but things were changing she supposed.

Perhaps it was her mother instincts kicking in?

Faye had to chuckle at the thought as she walked along the sidewalk with a grocery bag in hand. Ed hopped alongside her with two bags of her own while Ein waddled behind.

“What is Faye-Faye planning to do with all of these goodies?” Ed brought her energy down enough to walk steadily beside Faye and truly ask the question. It always amazed Faye how Ed could have the mind and attitude of a six-year-old one minute and suddenly switch to one more appropriate for her age group. She looked down at the girl with an eager smile,

“I’m going to cook!”

“Cook? Without Jet knowing?”  
She was intrigued and curious.

“Yup. That’s right.”

“Because Spike person and Jet person come back today?”

“Well, I want to learn for the baby, but yeah perfect timing.”

Faye had been trying to learn about cooking in private and she finally wanted to test out her knowledge. The guys had been away almost a week and a half. The bounty they were after turned out to be a bust, so they decided to look for the guy’s partner in crime instead.

“ED WANTS TO HELP!”

Faye winced at her voice, then at the thought of what kind of mess Ed could make when put together with food. “I think Ed better sit this one out.”

“Awe no fair! No fair! Ed wants to cook!”

Faye stopped walking and placed a hand over Ed’s mouth when people started starring as they passed by. “Ed cut that out!”

“No fair!” she shouted after wiggling away from Faye’s hand.

Faye groaned, we were back to age six, maybe three sounded more suited.

“Alright, alright! I’ll let you do one thing, one!”  
She held up a finger to emphasize this and Ed happily agreed before they continued their way back to the ship.

…

Cooking wasn’t as easy as it looked.

Faye didn’t understand how the people on T.V. made it look so easy. Chopping, dicing, slicing, what really was the difference? The kitchen was a mess and she had already burned two batches of rice. The dish she attempted to make was a stir-fry casserole, but her rice was burnt, her veggies turned to mush, and the shrimp was…expanding. She turned off the stove with a grunt and leaned against the counter, feeling defeated. Her eyes caught view of her baby bump and suddenly she was filled with determination.

“No. I said I was going to do this, so I’m gonna do it.” She told herself, in an attempt at a pep talk, then patted her belly and continued on.

Faye cringed as she spotted Ed run past in the distance, hands full of squished tomatoes.

“Ugh.”

…

One Hour Later

The kitchen was still a mess, but Faye had managed to settle Edward down and put together whatever was left of her dinner.

She was so into her work that she hadn’t even heard the sound of the hanger open or Ed squeal as she ran to greet the men who’d arrived. Jet and Spike stepped out of their zip crafts and onto the floor of the hanger, looking beat and unsatisfied.

“You’re back! Did you get the bad guy?”  
Ed asked this of them as they began their walk towards the interior of the Bebop.

“Yeah.”  
They called out in unison.

“Why the grumpy sounds?”

Jet sighed and rubbed is head.  
“Wasn’t easy and the payoff sucked.”

Spike stopped in place as they walked down the hallway, which stopped Jet and Ed as well. Jet looked at the younger man inquiringly as he saw him sniff the air.

“What’s that smell?”

Jet frowned and smelled the air too.

“Oh. Yeah, what is that Ed?”

It wasn’t exactly disgusting, but it was far from pleasing too.

Edward giggled.  
“Faye-Faye is cooking!”

The men looked down at her, puzzled.

“Huh?”

The group soon made their way over to the kitchen where they found Faye, who looked very focused and still hadn’t noticed them. Jet visibly winced at the sight of the mess in the kitchen.

“AH!”  
He cried out, this startled Faye and she almost dropped the cheese she was sprinkling over her casserole.

“Ah!” she cried back, in surprise and turned around to find them. “Oh! You’re back, I didn’t even hear you guys.”

“My kitchen.”

Spike, “What are you doing?”

Faye dwelled a moment, then turned and picked up her pan to show them with enthusiasm.

“Cooking!”

“…Why?”

Jet, “My kitchen…”

Faye frowned.  
“Because I want to! Is it a crime?”

Spike scratched his head and Jet sort of pulled himself together.

“But I-I left you the microwave stuff. Ya know, easy stuff…why-my kitchen!”

“Gosh, would you shut up with that! It's not like it's a kitchen made of gold!”

The woman rolled her eyes and set down the pan as Ed popped in to garner the guy’s attention.

“Faye-Faye wanted to practice cooking so she can cook for baby-person!” she termed in defense.

They looked at her with thought, then back at Faye. Suddenly, she felt a little embarrassed by the idea, but sucked it up quickly and flipped back around.

“Well…yeah! Just go sit, I want you to try it!”

They complied but the confused, and now worried, look on their faces didn’t dissolve.

In the three years she’d been on the ship, Faye had never stepped foot in the kitchen to cook. They didn’t know what to expect from a woman who would openly eat dog food.

She soon entered the room and placed the pan down on the table. Jet and Spike leaned over to look at the concoction, their faces then full of skepticism. They gave one another a look, then one back at the food.

“Uh…” was all Jet muttered.

It looked like gooey mush.

Faye sighed as she placed her hands on her hips.

“Okay, I know it doesn’t look so great, but maybe the taste is good!”

Spike looked up, “Did you try it?”

Faye paused.

“…No”

Jet scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“So…we’re like the test bunnies?”

Ed laughed in the distance as she entered the room with spoons.

“Test bunnies! Here are your spoons!” she stated in her fancy voice, with a bow to them each.

They reluctantly took their spoons then hesitated to take a spoon full of the casserole.

“Come on, would you just eat it!? You’re driving me nuts!”  
Faye shouted, antsy for the results.

The men flinched then Spike took a breath.

He’d most definitely faced worse.

“Alright.” He stated, before digging his spoon in and taking a confident bite.

The three remaining members of the crew leaned in curiously to watch his reaction.

He munched for a bit before furrowing his brows. He didn’t say anything, just kept chewing with that same look. Jet decided in that moment, that he should try too.

“Okay, I’ll give it a go.”

He dug in his own spoon and took a bite. His look quickly turned to one of distaste, but he instantly attempted to maneuver it to a more neutral stance.

He failed miserably.

Faye frowned and sat down on the table to lean closer to them both.

“Well? How is it?”  
She could guess by the troubled look on Jet’s face and the struggled one on Spike’s, but she still wanted to hear from them.

They both swallowed.

Jet spoke first, “It’s great!” he gasped out, practically forcing himself to say it.

Faye raised a brow. She didn’t buy it one bit. Her eyes turned to Spike, who held a solid thoughtful expression.

“Well?”

The man’s eyes turned to her, “want the truth?”

Faye just nodded readily.

“I’m gonna eat it, but only because I’m starving.”  
He took another big bite and fought through the chew.

“Oh.”  
She bit her lip.

Jet was instantly uneasy.  
“Spike” he grunted.

Faye turned away and shook her head.

“No, no. It’s the truth.”  
Her voice was tiny.

Both men fixed their eyes on her.

“It’s terrible, I get it…”  
Her voice broke.

Spike sighed and Jet recoiled.

“No. No, it’s great Faye! Really!”

He silently attempted to get Spike to join in with him, but Spike only gave him a blank look in return.

She sniffled.  
“No it’s not! I don’t even know why I wasted my time in that damn kitchen!” Instantly she was faced towards them again and tiny tears ran down her cheeks. Jet looked shocked, but Spike hardly looked troubled at all. She’d been getting these fits a lot as of late, Jet just so happened not to be there for most of them.

“I don’t know what I expected! I know I messed up, God I’m gonna end up poisoning my kid!”

It didn't help when Ed started chanting something about poison in the corner.

Jet stood to his feet and reached out to her.  
“No, you’re not Faye, you just need more practice!”

Spike nodded in agreement, “yeah, practice.”

She shook out of Jet’s grasp and stood to her feet.

“Whatever you Jerks! I’m never cooking again!”

Then out of the room she stormed.

Jet and Spike looked after her as she exited, then Jet moved his attention to Spike and eyed him sharply.

“What?”

“What? What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you say that to her!?”

Spike grunted, “she asked for the truth. I don’t want her poising the kid either!”

Jet grumbled.

“Besides, she’ll be fine, she’s just in one of those moods.”

“Huh?”

“You know, mood swings.”

“What do you know about mood swings?”

“They come and go.”

Spike had quickly picked up on the fact that there was a difference between “broken Faye” and “moody Faye” just before they had left. Moody Faye was your typical Faye, but with far more dramatics and sensitivities. Sort of like excessively drunk Faye, he realized.

“I don’t know she seemed pretty-“ Jet stopped and reached for his stomach.

“Oh no. Eh-“ he quickly stood and rushed towards the bathroom.

The food seemed to have had a late effect on him.

Spike crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, “hmm, guess I do got a strong stomach,” He muttered to himself then turned his attention to Ed at the sound of her chomping. He was surprised to find her happily eating away at the casserole in the dish.

“Yummy cheeeese! Have some Ein!”

She attempted to pass the dog some, but Ein just whimpered in resistance.

Spike sighed. Actually, it wasn’t very surprising.

“You’re an odd one alright.”  
…

The next day came and Faye had indeed recovered from her sour mood.

In fact, she recovered just minutes after the incident.

After some cleaning, re-working, and rest, she was ready to tackle the challenge of cooking a full meal again. This time, she would prepare spaghetti. It was easier and since she was low on funds, far less costly.

Ed was occupied and Jet had gone to do a supply run and some of his own errands, so there was no complaint from him. She stood quietly and attentively over the saucepan while she poured in some garlic powder and stirred.

Spike trailed down the hallway, hands buried in his pockets. He picked up a scent, but this time it was actually appealing, and followed it to the kitchen. Once there, the man had to stop at the sight of Faye leaning over the stove. He took in her expression and recognized it from when she dealt her cards. It was serious and focused, but there was something different too, something more meaningful in her gaze.

She really wanted to do this.

Her hair was pulled back, it had grown out some since their very first meeting. There was a light dew on her skin, maybe it was sweat or just condensation from the steam of the pan he wasn’t sure, and splatters of sauce and flour on random areas of her upper form. It wasn’t the most manicured image of what he’d known to represent Faye Valentine, but he couldn’t help but think she looked quite nice that way.

There was that damn light again.

Leaning in a bit shouldn’t be too harmless.

“At it again huh?” he stated as he walked up to her and peered over her shoulder. The woman jerked at his voice, not having heard him enter the room at all.

“Gosh, you scared me. Why do you keep sneaking up like that?”

He chuckled, “sneaking? That pregnancy brain thing must be a real huh? Your off on your senses lately.”

She paused from her work on the stove and glanced up at him.  
“Pregnancy brain?”

“Yeah they say you forget things or pay less attention.”

Faye scoffed. “Where’d you hear that?”

“Somewhere…T.V. or internet, I don’t really remember.”  
Truthfully, Spike had dappled into some of her unread books out of curiosity. Not too much, but enough to catch random facts.

“Oh. Thought maybe you actually started reading.”

“I still think hands on experience is where it’s at.”

Faye sighed.  
“Maybe your right.”

“Hmm?” he questioned.

“Those damn chefs on T.V. are full of shit! They made this look so simple, but it takes a lot more than just following instructions!”

Spike was interested. “Like what?”

“Patience! And I am slowly running out of it.”

“You seemed to be doing just fine a minute ago.”

“Yeah, but I keep screwing things up...and I don't need distraction” she gave him something of a glare.

“I’ll be quiet.”

He crossed his arms and leaned back against the nearby wall. Faye eyed him, “you’re just going to stand there and watch me?”

“Yes.”

He said it so boldly it threw Faye for a moment, then she shrugged it off.

“Fine, whatever.”

Spike watched as she pulled some noodles from the pot and tested the texture. When it seemed like she thought it was ready, she drained the pot. He knew nothing about cooking, so he watched with interest, but his eyes kept lingering on her instead of her work.

Why did she look so…

Beautiful?

Spike wasn’t a blind man; he’d always thought Faye was attractive. The fact that she was now carrying his baby was proof enough, however even before he’d only seen her as appealing in a sexy kind of way…beautiful was new.

He quickly shook himself free of whatever was entering his mind. Those thoughts lingered on something he wasn’t sure he liked.

“Wanna taste the sauce?”

Spike attention returned.

“Huh?”

“Taste the sauce…?” she looked at him expectantly, holding up the spoon that had a little bit of sauce on it.

“Oh. Yeah sure.”

He took the spoon from her hands and leaned forward, but stalled a moment and side glanced at her.

“This isn’t going to kill me, right?”

“Shut up and eat it Spike,” Faye grumbled.

He smirked then took the sample. The flavor filled his mouth and he paused to contemplate what he thought. Faye stood by, hopeful in every way. She leaned forward curiously as if begging him to tell her what he thought as soon as possible.

He held off.

“So?”

He furrowed his brows, feigning thought.

She nudged his arm.

“Spike, how is it?”

Eventually he smiled and gave her nod.

“It’s good.”

Faye couldn’t help the satisfaction that graced her face.

“Really? You’re not just saying that, don’t lie.”

This time he scoffed, “trust me, I’m not afraid to tell you the truth.”

Excitement.

“Ugh, yes! Finally, a breakthrough.”

Spike observed her a moment, “What made you want to do this anyway? Isn’t it a little too homemaker? Never saw you as the type.”

Faye thought about this a moment “it’s not too homemaker, I mean what kind of mom can’t cook for her own kid? Or-doesn’t at least try.”

“I guess they do say there’s nothing like mom’s cooking.”

“Yeah…” she paused in thought. “Although…now that I think about it, I don’t think my mom actually cooked for me…no-I think we had a chef.”

That wasn’t information he expected.

“A chef?”

“Mmhmm…believe it or not I came from money.”  
She claimed this, with pinch of loss in her voice. Her memories were still well scattered, but the snippets she could recall gave her some decent information.

“…Huh, that actually answers a lot.” He murmured, recalling all her spoiled tendencies.

Faye didn't pay much attention to his comment, as she was lost in her previous thought. “Anyways, not like we have money for a chef."

“We have a Jet.”

She chuckled at this.

Spikes eyes were drawn to the sauce lingering on her neck. Without a thought he reached forward and rubbed it off. The touch surprised Faye and she looked up curiously.

“What are you doing?”

There was a small second, then he held up his finger to show her. “You have sauce on you.”

“Oh.”

She looked down at herself and reached for a nearby rag to clean it off, Spike stopped her and stepped up closer. He gently used his thumbs to clean the random sauce splats from her clavicle and then her cheek. All Faye could do was stare up at him.

He stopped and their eyes met, she didn’t look away.

He was so close; he hadn’t been that close to her or had his hands on her like that in a long time. Not with that look in his eye, but what was that look? She didn’t fully recognize it, maybe because the only time she ever got close to it was in the dark.

Did he want to kiss her?

Was that what he was about to do?

Did she want to stop him?

It didn’t feel like it.

Suddenly a ripple.

Faye gasped and reached for her stomach, Spike jolted at the sudden movement and quickly placed on an expression of worry.

“What is it?”

  
Faye didn’t say anything, she just looked down at her belly and felt.

“Is something wrong?”

Alarm slowly entered his voice, but Faye broke that with a smile. “No, no, shh.”

She held up a finger, he looked confused.

“The baby…” she looked up at the man before her, “It’s moving!”

“Moving?”

“Yes! Look, feel!”

She took his hands and placed them on the area of her tummy where she felt the movement. A feeling of amazement washed over him.

“Woah!”  
Was all Spike could say about it for a moment.

“Does it hurt?” he eventually added.

She shook her head, “No, it, it’s weird…it feels like bubbles.” She was definitely not herself then, instead a giggling fool.

He laughed too then looked down at his hands in hers and felt the feeling of the baby’s movements.  
Something clicked.

The light was there.

He wanted it.

But...

Spike removed his hands and cleaned them on the nearby rag.

“You got sauce on your dress,” he muttered.

Faye didn’t realize this shift through her excitement about the baby’s kicks.

“I don’t care,” She called through her glee and turned back to the stove before her food burned.

Spike turned around and left the room without a word.

**-The Baby Diaries-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn Spike. Ugh. Hello there! So, yes, I totally had to indulge in some fluff here! This was probably one of my favorite chapters to write so far, I had it in mind for a while. I realized halfway I was kind of giving Faye that barefoot and prego in the kitchen feel, but that’s not really what I was going for. And she’s not barefoot lol. Anyways, here’s a long fluffy-ish gift before things get ugly betty up in here ;D Just kidding, probably won’t be that bad…we’ll see.
> 
> See you space readers!


	11. Author's Note+Mini Bonus!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So sorry for the long wait and also, I apologize for not coming to you with a new chapter just yet! I definitely have NOT forgotten about this story and have been working on it here and there, but I hadn’t been able to focus on it through August and right now I am currently on a trip to visit some family in another state! So, I technically have already been on a small hiatus, just haven’t made it official yet, sorry about that! Anyways, you can expect an update to the story sometime in October! It will probably be a couple of chapters; I won’t make you wait so long for just one chapter haha. In the meantime, here is a small drabble. Or maybe you can consider it a one-shot? to hold you over! This is related to the story, pre-Baby Diaries!

Faye was in Spike’s sleeping quarters.

Wrapped in his sheet.

Holding his ash tray and starring up at his celling.

It should have been more uncomfortable than it was.

This wasn’t her place.

But he was the one that led her down the hall, nudged her into his door and down onto his bed with his own body. She hadn’t stopped him, there was no way in hell she was going to, because all that mattered was the feel of his urgent lips on hers and the warm touch of his hands along her exposed skin.

It was dangerous and sure to become addictive.

Most likely wasn’t a smart move.

Definitely violated the rule book.

The way his nose poked out.

She really wanted to reach out and run her finger along the silhouette of it. She was tempted to caress the place where his brows were slightly furrowed as he had drifted off to sleep. She wanted to run her fingers through his bushel of hair without the neediness she had minutes before. 

She wanted a lot it seemed.

This was a bad idea, the woman thought.

Staying would only make it worse.

After a couple of reassuring moments of silence, Faye pushed herself up from the mattress and held the sheet tightly to herself. She moved as slowly as she could, aware of how light of a sleeper Spike could be, but was eager to make a quick escape. As she tried to make her way around him and out of the bed, Spike’s hand reached out loosely for her wrist. The woman held back a startled gasp and looked over at him. 

“Just stay,” he muttered in a sleepy haze and she wondered if he was even fully awake. Her eyes studied him closely for a few moments then she attempted to move again, but he only tightened his grip on her wrist. “Just stay,” he repeated.

She wondered who he was thinking about, wondered if he was dreaming at that very moment.

Faye didn’t say anything for once, she just laid back down, her eyes still on him. They were only a few inches apart, the only contact between them being Spike’s hand loosely around her wrist. She didn’t move it and then she realized it didn’t really matter what he was thinking about, she’d still want to be right there where she was. 

Shit.

Then sleep came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you soon Space Readers!!


	12. Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNDER REVISION☺

_You should see yourself. Do you have any idea what you look like right at this moment, Spike?_

_What?_

_A ravenous beast. The same blood runs through both of us. The blood of a beast who wanders, hunting for the blood of others._

_I’ve bled all that kind of blood away._

_THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?_

_Why_  
…

~Trimester 2~

Faye couldn’t think clearly.

Again.

Why was Spike so good at doing things like that to her?  
She pondered this as she laid on her side in bed. It had been two days since the incident in the kitchen and though the baby kicking was a great distraction, she soon thought about what had almost transpired before.

Through all the commotion, Faye hardly had any time to think about Spike. Specifically, whatever feelings she had towards him. She’d subconsciously accepted long ago that he would never be hers and then she wondered when she even started to want that.

“Maybe I’m the real lunkhead,” she muttered softly.

After he left the kitchen, she hadn’t seen him the rest of the day, not even to eat the food she made. It wasn’t a big deal at first, until the next day he seemed to outright avoid her. When she walked into a room, he left it, if he got caught in conversation with her, he kept it short, and if he wasn’t in his room, he was off the ship entirely.

Why he was behaving so strange was beyond her, but she knew something was off.

Everything had happened so fast. It seemed like almost yesterday he was going to be lost to her forever and now they had something that would connect them forever.

Faye cradled her belly.

“Would I be a bad mother if I told you your father is a complete ass? Eh- you don’t understand me anyways...”

Movement.

Faye laughed softly. It didn’t tickle, that was for sure, but it was almost as if the baby was responding to her. She reached over to grab hold of the book she was previously reading. It said something about babies in the womb responding to voices around them, especially the mothers.

There were much more important things to focus on.  
…

Later that day Faye took a walk around the ship, she wanted to go outside, but it was already late. She made her way to the common room where Jet was situated with Ed, he seemed to be very focused on the monitor before him.

“Hey, what’s going on?” she questioned.

Jet perked up at her for a moment before looking back at his work.  
“Hey, caught a new lead.”

“Oh? New bounty?” she asked curiously as she sat down in the yellow chair across from him.

“Fazziii Motoooo!” Ed called this out happily, the name clearly a fun thing to say.

“Yeah,” Jet confirmed, “Fazzi Moto, Spike’s actually on it right now, he didn’t tell you? He’s gonna be gone a couple of days.”

Faye stalled at this.  
“No, he didn’t.”

Not like he was obligated too, she thought.

Jet paused at the tone of her voice but didn’t let the feeling dwell and kept on.  
“Oh, well it was kind of rushed. Guy’s wanted for drug trafficking, constantly on the move.”

“He’s doing it alone?”

“He can handle this one, Moto’s not too tough.”

“I guess.”

“It’s Spike. You know as well as me, he can take on whole groups of men at a time,” Jet told her this reassuringly, but Faye wasn’t worried, she was confused.

“Yeah.”  
There was a slight sharpness in her voice. Instead of question this, Jet decided to divert.

“Hey. Baby kicking any today?”

This brought a smile to Faye’s face.  
“Yeah! I think he recognizes my voice sometimes.”

She placed her hands on her tummy and Jet grinned.

“He?”

Faye frowned, “She… or whatever, it doesn’t matter.”

Jet chuckled and suddenly Edward was up and at Faye’s belly.

“DOES BABY-PERSON RECOGNIZE ED’S VOICE!?”

Jet and Faye cringed.

“Ed you don’t gotta shout every time you wanna talk to the baby!” Jet called out.

Ed giggled and Faye perked as she felt more movement in her belly.

“Oh!”

Edward was practically bouncing in place with her hands out.

“Let Ed feel!”

Faye couldn’t help but grin at the girl’s eagerness and took both of her ready hands then placed them on her stomach. Edward giggled again in all her odd tones as she felt the movements of the baby. Faye gave her a funny look, but the grin never faltered. The young girl eventually pressed her ear against Faye’s belly.

“What are you doing?”

“Ed’s trying to see what baby-person sounds like.”

“You know the baby can’t talk right?”

“Baby-person can’t talk, but he can swish!”

Faye groaned, “you think it’s a boy too?”

Jet chortled to the side; Faye eyed him. Suddenly her stomach growled, and she flinched.

“Oooh grumble grumble,” Ed mimicked. Faye grunted and nudged the girl away.

“Do we have food?”

Jet continued his small laughter and stood.

“I’m on it.”  
…

1 week later

Spike stood in a graveyard.

He’d caught Fazzi three days ago, then he asked Jet for another, which he nabbed in two days. Then he just didn’t call again, and he didn’t answer anyone else’s calls.

I’ll go back, he kept telling himself.

Hands buried deep in his pockets, he stared at the stone with her name on it.

It wasn’t much, she had to be buried by the government.

No family. No life.

No nothing.

Instead, now it felt like he had everything.

Why.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.

He didn’t deserve it.

Why.

Sadness.

Guilt.

Love…

After everything, he still couldn’t face all his demons and they insisted upon haunting him even from the grave. Holding him back from something he didn’t even know he wanted.

He was just a worthless, guilty coward.

**-The Baby Diaries-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Till next time space readers~!


	13. Dear Baby

~Trimester 2~

Three weeks.

He hadn’t come back and they hadn’t heard a word from him.

Faye took on more hobbies.

Jet was worried.

He knew nothing happened to Spike because his calls still went through, but something was definitely wrong with the man.

“Little punk.”

Jet muttered as he slammed his communicator down on his bonsai table. He was ticked off. It was one thing for Spike to take off, but to take off on Faye when she was carrying his kid, that just seemed wrong.

And a little unbelievable.

He knew Spike wasn’t perfect, but the kid wasn’t a bad guy.

Jet sighed and rubbed his face with frustration then stood and walked into the common room where he found Faye, who looked like she was getting ready to go somewhere. Ed was there too, rummaging through some of Faye’s belongings that were spread out on the table.

“You heading out already?”

Faye looked up, seeming normal as ever.

“Yeah. We’ll get to see the outcome of our bet!”

She had another doctor’s appointment.

Jet chuckled softly and nodded his acknowledgment to her but didn’t say anything else.

“Then we can start shopping!”  
The typical Faye gleam seemed to be very present in her voice.

“Right. Listen, you sure you don’t want me to go with you? I really don’t mind.”

“Jet, it’s fine I can go by myself.”

“Edward can go!”  
Both adults gave her a wary side glance.

“No thanks,” Faye continued, “Really, it’s all good.”

She told them reassuringly then picked up her completed bag and was gone in seconds.

…  
Her leg bounced with an annoying anxiousness.

It was only her second time at the clinic, but Faye still wasn’t a fan, especially now that she’d graduated from the group of couples to the group of lone women. There really wasn’t anything to be ashamed about, she supposed, and It wasn’t as if anyone knew her, but she couldn’t help but feel bitter at the idea.

Her eyes roamed the room, making their second inspection. Still so many different kinds of people, all with their own story. It made her curious. Her gaze fell on a young-looking girl who sat a chair away from her. She looked about her age, maybe a bit younger, who even seemed to be as far along as her. The girl’s attention was held on a journal that sat upon her lap as she wrote away in it. Faye, being the curious cat she was, tried to catch a glimpse of the contents, but couldn’t see clearly from her position. The young brunette glanced her way after a moment and smiled.

“Hi!” she greeted in a soft voice.

Faye nearly jumped in surprise, and supposed she’d been more obvious than she thought.

“Uh-hi.” She replied, with a quick smile of her own, then looked away. The girl, having not taken the hint held out her hand.

“My name is Kelsie.”

Faye returned her attention and shook the hand weakly.

“Faye,” she replied, then gestured to her journal. “I didn’t mean to be nosey.” Kelsie only laughed at this.

“Oh, don’t worry- I actually love when people ask.” Which I didn’t, Faye thought, but she guessed hearing about it would be a better distraction for her wait. “It’s a baby diary!” Kelsie gleefully held up her medium sized journal to show the front cover that seemed to be self-decorated with cute stickers and drawings.

“Baby diary?”

“Mmhmm,” Kelsie began flipping through pages. “I started keeping it when I found out I was pregnant. I thought it would be nice to write down my thoughts and experiences through this time and each baby milestone until my girl gets here. Ya know- so she can look back at it later and know about her life before she actually entered it. Cute huh?”

Faye pursed her lips in interest.  
“Yeah, that actually does sound nice,” she agreed.

“See today I was just writing about some of the shopping I did and the overwhelming feelings I had while doing that, but also the excitement. I like to write how things are going emotionally and physically, so I’ll probably make another entry after my appointment. It’s a really good stress reliver too, you should consider getting one.” Kelsie told Faye this with such thoughtful enthusiasm, she almost wanted to ask if she sold these journals.

Faye shrugged in response and her hands went to rest on her lower belly. “I don’t know, I mean I’m a little behind.”

“It’s never too late! You don’t seem that far along, and you can just write out what it’s been like so far. I live by journaling. It’s a great way to express yourself and vent out feelings.”

“Yeah maybe…” Faye trailed off in thought, before she could say anything else the nurse, Suzanne, from her first visit popped through the door.

“Salazar-“

“Oh, that’s me!” Kelsie popped up began towards the door but stopped in front of Faye. “Maybe I’ll see you next time, let me know if you get one.” With a polite smile, she was off.

“And Valentine!” The nurse called out. Faye stood up and walked towards Suzanne, she was ready to get this over with.

“Just you today miss Valentine?” Suzanne asked in her usual perky tone.

Faye tightened her grip on her purse as she passed through.

“Yup. Just me.”

…

Faye wanted to feel happier than she did.

She tried to ignore her deeper issues in life, it was what she was best at. Running away from all that troubled her. Only to truly trouble herself more in the end. It was becoming more and more apparent to her, however, that maybe it wasn’t the healthiest thing to do. And if she wanted to have a healthy baby with a healthy life, maybe it started with her.

Faye wanted to be happier than she was.

Spike walked away.

That was the simple truth.

She avoided thinking about it, talking about it, really just acknowledging it.

Because in reality it hurt really, really bad.

So, there she sat, in a tiny café with her new little blue journal. She decided to take Kelsie’s advice and document this new journey she found herself on.

December 2072  
Dear baby,

…gosh that sounds kind of lame…I’m not used to doing things like this and I’m not even sure who I should be addressing. I don’t even know that I’ll show this to one day because I don’t plan on censoring myself, but I’m sure you’ll soon find out that your mother isn’t one to do such things. Since I found out I was having you, it’s been an interesting time in my life to say the least. I haven’t lived the smoothest life as it is. Believe it or not I was a cunning-bad ass-bounty huntress before you’ll be meeting me…well something like that. A child was the last thing on my mind, so you were most definitely a surprise. I am 5 months pregnant with you. You have brought me a whirlwind of moodiness, you’ve turned my appetite upside down and you make me really really sleepy. Which...honestly probably isn't that different from me already. Geez. You also make me cry a lot which is something I hate doing!! So thank you for that… And I won’t lie, I was very doubtful about having you at first. I didn’t think I could do it, well I still don’t know if I can sometimes. I was scared more than anything and very confused and just so unsure. Of myself, of you, of your father…But even though I wasn’t planning on you I’m so happy I’m having you.

I really am.

You’ve brought a light into my dark world and you haven’t even fully come into it yet. I don’t know where we will be tomorrow, when your born, or years from now, but I already know I will do everything in my being to protect you and give you as much love and opportunity as possible…and I’ve never been much of a giver, but I want to give you the best of everything. Even if I have to do it alone.

Well, I guess I should give credit where it’s due. Your “Uncle Jet” (as he has dubbed himself) has been great. In fact, more than great, more than I deserve from him that’s for sure. And Edward already loves you so much it worries me. I know I’m not really alone in this world, but having your own family is just different. As for your father…I don’t want to hate him. He gave me you, which is the best gift anyone is ever going to give me. I don’t know where he is right now and I don’t know why. His mind isn’t exactly the easiest thing to figure out. I really wish he was here. I really wish this was happening any other way. And between you and me…I might be in love with the guy. I have faith in one thing, the way he talked about you before he left. If I know something about him, it’s that he’s not a liar. He said you were the most real thing he had. I think he’ll be back to meet you and I’ll have to deal with that when the time comes…

but if not you and me will be just fine. Because you’re the most real thing I have.

p.s. I found out that I lost a bet today.

See you soon, my little baby boy.

-Your mother

Faye didn’t even realize the tears until a couple fell on the pages as she finished writing. She closed the journal and sat back, then ate her pie in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ISA BOYYYY and thus, the diaries begin! Next chap should be out very soon! 
> 
> Till next time Space Readers!


	14. Fatherhood Pt. 2

~Trimester 2~

Christmas eve was right around the corner and streets were bustling in Alba City. The Bebop Crew just so happened to have one Christmas together in the previous year, but it wasn’t a very merry one by any normal standards. Neither was the new year that followed. The time was half spent in mourning their brokenness and then eventually nursing Spike back to health. However, there was a lot of whiskey involved.

In general, holidays weren’t really their thing.

That didn’t stop Jet from trying to bring some normalcy on his ship with some festivities. He gave a heavy grunt as he tried shoving a gigantic tree through the Bebop’s round common room door.

“Come on Ed, aren’t you pulling!?” He called out to her, on the opposite end.

Ed was doing her best, but with some frustration.

“Ed’s pulling and pulling again!” she called back.

Faye sighed with hopelessness as she stood on the stairs watching the girl.

“I told you that tree was too damn big Jet, it’s never gonna fit!” she shouted amongst the chaos, holding handfuls of shopping bags.

“It’s gonna fit!” came his muffled cry from the other side. Faye rolled her eyes and moved to set her bags down. She took hold of a popcorn bowl that had been popped earlier that day and began munching on it. Eventually Jet made it through with the tree and paused up top to catch his breath a bit.

“See what I tell ya?”

Faye snorted, starring into the bowl, then looked up. “Where are you even going to put it?”

“Right here.”

Jet struggled for a minute, but eventually made it to an empty corner of the room and settled the tree there. It slumped and didn’t fit well with the rest of the room, but Jet couldn’t think of a better tree to suit them.

A lopsided tree for a lopsided crew.

“Perfect.”

“If you say so,” Faye grumbled sarcastically.  
She’d been unreasonably moody the whole time they were out.

“Hey come on! It’s something. We’ve been a little tight with money lately, but I was able to set some aside for this. I think we need to enjoy ourselves a little don’t you?”

“All the pretty colors!” Ed called out as she started a rummage through the bag of tree décor.

Faye sighed. It really wasn’t fair to take out her animosity on them, Jet had been working really hard. The least she could do was humor him.

“Yeah, I guess it could be fun.”

Her compliance brought a smile to the man’s face and she was mildly annoyed with how warm that made her feel.

“Great! Let’s start on this tree.”

Faye stood to help Ed take out all the decorations while Jet turned television to something festive.

“Shit. Think we went a little overboard with this stuff?” He commented after joining in.

Everything was bought at a cheap dollar store since most of the Woolongs went towards the tree, but they still managed to pack the cart.

“You're the one that let Ed keep putting things in the basket...There’s lots of tree to cover anyways.”

“Mr. Tree man needs lots of accessories!”

Faye allowed herself to enjoy their company and laughed at the kid’s eccentricities. In the distance Jet’s com went off. He walked away to answer, but stalled when he read the name. His mood completely altered. A few moments later he walked back into the room.

“Hey, I’ll be back I forgot something.”

Faye eyed him curiously, but gave him a look of acknowledgement. Then he was gone.

…

Spike wanted to go home.

But he didn’t know how to.

After about a week of being MIA Spike realized what he’d done, and regret seeped into him like lotion to skin. Then all of a sudden, a whole month passed by. He knew he was still partially holding back. One, because he knew he wasn't ready and two, he didn't think he ever would be ready. Then there was secret reason number three, he wasn’t sure how Faye or even Jet would react. To top it all off, it just so happened to be the anniversary of when he left, for supposedly the last time, last year.

He spat out his cigarette onto the streets before him with frustration. Eventually he got himself to return to Alba City, where he knew the Bebop was docked, but had to yet to make it all the way back. He busied himself with restless sleep, smokes and more restless sleep until he decided to do some shopping. He knew gifts were a cheap way to get forgiveness and he also knew they were highly unlikely to work. Still, he felt he should at least get everyone something, it was going to be Christmas after all. Though he’d never actually celebrated the holiday much in his life.

The last week of his absence was spent thinking all about the baby he practically left behind. It seemed everywhere he went there were babies and kids or pregnant women. Even at that moment as he sat on a street bench, he saw nothing but families and kids before him. That was most likely due to the fact that he was situated in front of an outdoor skating rink. His eyes fixed on what appeared to be a dad helping his two daughters learn how to skate. Spike felt highly insecure as he attempted to imagine himself doing something similar in the future. That’s if he even got the chance to. There was no telling what Faye might want after this stunt. After he pledged his being by her side and then ran away like some kind of fool.

With a defeated sigh, Spike took out his communicator and dialed the person he needed to talk to first.

“Where are you?” Jet answered.

“…meet me at Rinz.”

…  
December 2072  
Dear Baby,

Christmas is almost here! I’ve lived in the world you’ll be brought into for about 5 years now and never really celebrated it…well except maybe this one time on Europa when I got a group of greedy men drunk at this flashy club to successfully cheat them out of some money…you can ask me more about that when you’re older… Anyways since your Uncle Jet has been getting all christmasy, I’ve been recalling these vague memories of Christmas when I was a kid. Your grandfather was a strict man and very hard on me when it came to basically everything, but he loved Christmas! It was very much about family and I even have this image of him getting on the piano and singing…which I’m pretty sure he never did on a regular basis. I hope we can make good memories like that. If that means celebrating fuzzy holidays like Christmas, then so be it. Traditions can be nice.

On another note, you’re really starting to weigh me down. I’m getting these annoying back pains! And I’m hoping I can keep down whatever food Jet is planning to make, because 23 weeks in and I’m still having difficulties with food. It’s really not fair because I’m hungrier, but you seem to be really picky. Honestly this "glow everyone says I have, is probably just from the sheen of sweat I develop after throwing up every the morning…such a beautiful experience.

Hope I can keep you warm his winter.

-Your mother

Faye sat crisscrossed on the floor, nearby the slumped tree, as she wrote. She pondered if signing it ‘your mother’ was too formal. Even though she recalled addressing her own parents as mother and father, she didn’t think she wanted her baby calling her ‘mother.’ Ed was singing a weird rendition of jingle bells as she made a mess with tinsel on the tree

“Jingle Bells ostrich smells then he laid an egg~”

Faye looked up curiously and shrank at the disaster before her.

“Why does this always happen when it’s just you and me?” she groaned.

Ed giggled, “Faye lets Ed have fun!”

Faye raised a brow, “I do huh? I think you can lay off the tinsel Ed. It looks pretty full.”

Ed dropped the tinsel and ran off to collect Ein then joined Faye on the floor.  
“What do you write in your journal all the time?”  
She asked this with such curiosity in her eyes, the kind that reminded Faye of just how young and innocent she was.

“Just notes...random things. Nothing much.”

“Stories!? To tell baby-person?” She looked too excited.

Faye thought about her answer. “Yeah sure, something like that.” She quickly reached for the journal and held it up. “And don’t go snooping around either! This is private property, got it?”

Edward nodded sharply and saluted the older woman.

“Yes captain!”

Faye smirked.

“Edward remembers mama. She called me her tiny person!”

Faye was caught off guard by this little confession. She had heard about Ed’s dad from Jet before but didn’t even think about her having a mom. The girl was such an interesting kid, it wouldn’t have surprised Faye if her existence was due to her simply falling out of the sky.

“She did?”

“Mmhmm,” Ed answered thoughtfully. “She was very beautiful and told stories too!”

“What kind?”

“All kinds! Funny, fighty, spoookyy. Sometimes I miss her.”

Faye smiled somewhat sadly.

“Who knows, maybe I’ll let you tell the baby stories.”

Faye stopped her as Ed leaned towards her rounded belly, almost positive she was about to start shouting these stories.

“When the baby gets here!”

Ed eventually complied.  
…

Jet discovered a while back, that he had a problem letting go. As much as he wanted to hold things against others, it was hard to do when he cared about those same people. So, he just kept letting them back in. If Alicia had wanted to come back to him, he was almost positive he would have let her. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. When it came to his ragtag group of crew-mates however, it most certainly was the case. And thus, his doom.

No matter how pissed off he was at Spike, he couldn’t help the sense of relief he felt when the younger man finally called him. The month had been difficult while unsure of his whereabouts. Even more difficult was dealing with the fact that it still affected him after all that time. But he couldn’t help it.

It’s who he was.

A protector.

And a fixer.

While Faye had been putting up her front, he knew Spike needed to come home and only hoped that’s what he wanted to do.

Jet stepped out of the cold air and into the small diner called Rinz. In their early days the two men liked to stop there from time to time. In the distance he spotted the back of Spike, smoking a cigarette and nursing what seemed to be a coffee. Suddenly his anger at the kid returned.

“I’ll get a coffee over here,” he called to the waitress as he walked towards the table, then sat across from Spike.

Spike didn’t look up.

“Do know how close I was to getting Ed to track you down so I could kick your sorry ass?” he told him, in a hushed, but very tense voice.

Spike gave a heavy exhale of his smoke then stumped it out in a nearby ash tray.

“You should have.”

“Spike.”

Spike then looked up at the man and Jet got a chance to examine him. He looked kind of exhausted and like he hadn’t eaten much. The waitress soon brought over his cup of coffee and he nodded to her in gratitude.

“What happened. Why’d you stop answering?”  
Jet asked, a little calmer this time.

“I don’t know- how to explain.”

“Did you…freak out? Have a change of heart?”

Spike reached up to place pressure between his eyes.

“No- just...”

Jet leaned back in his booth with a sigh then took a drink from his coffee. He noticed Spike hadn’t even touched his and was just holding it loosely.

“Becoming a father scares you that much?” he inquired.

Spike let go of his coffee and looked out the window. There was silence for a few moments and Jet assumed he was thinking about his answer.

“…I’m not an innocent man,” he started, “The things I’ve done in this life- things maybe even you couldn’t imagine. The people I’ve known…the people I needed to protect…“

There was another pause, but Jet waited. Spike had never been so direct about himself before. He always covered it up with some metaphor or story.

“I don’t get why I’m here.”

Finally, he removed his eyes from the low hanging red clouds outside and took a big drink from his mug.

Jet understood. Though he didn’t know all the details of Spike’s life before they met up, he could give a pretty decent estimate of what it was like. Having been a cop he’d dealt with all kinds of crooks from street kids to mobsters. He’d seen their pain and their crimes. And he was almost certain Spike fell into both categories.

Worthiness.

“Spike. No person is really innocent in this galaxy. Everyone has their demons. In fact, I think no one really deserves happiness, but if they get it, they’d better hold onto it.”

Spike didn’t respond, so Jet continued.

“As for why you’re here, I can give you one good, tiny reason.”

“How is she?”  
Spike finally asked as if the question was burning on his lips.

“She’s doing okay. Good actually…well you know, she likes to put on that tough persona.”

Another moment of silence.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come to realize she’s a resilient woman. But she needs you. Right now at least. And that baby is gonna need you. Come home.”

His words weren’t pleading, just simple statements that carried a heavy weight.

“But what if I can’t be relied on?”

Jet let that sit.

“Come home Spike.”

“…Can I?”

Jet starred for a while and then he realized this was one of those prodigal’s son moments where he could see the nothing but the youth in spike’s eyes. Sometimes he wondered if that fifteen-year-old was still deep in there somewhere, just buried away.

He grunted.

“Get your sorry ass back on the fucking ship or I’ll shoot you into the new year.”

Spike was surprised and laughed, then eventually Jet joined him. After a while of expressive laughter, Jet stopped to catch his breath.

“Stop laughing, it wasn’t that funny. And eat something damn it, let me get a burger with fries over here! Make that two!”

The men ate their food. And Jet received his unspoken apology with elation. He just prayed Faye would eventually be as forgiving.

-The Baby Diaries-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone know the K-pop group 2ne1? If you don’t WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?? And the song Come Back Home has been stuck in my head all night lol. 
> 
> P.S. forgot to credit that "sweat from throwing up" quote from Friends! Lol, if your a fan maybe you noticed.
> 
> Tumblr @BeccaNoodles - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/beccanoodles
> 
> Till next time space readers!


	15. Communication Skills

~Trimester 2~

The evening soon approached and by the time Jet and Spike made it back on the Bebop it was dark out, but the city was still lively with lights and merriments. The two jumped out of their respective ships and met midway through the hangar.

“You two need to talk. I’ll take Ed out for a bit.”

Jet stated. Spike looked mildly terrified.

“Wait, you’re leaving?”

Jet chuckled somewhat victoriously at this,

“what? You afraid of Faye now?”

Spike wasn’t amused.

“No, I’m not afraid of Faye. Just don’t think she’ll be a fan of the idea.”

Jet sighed.

“Maybe not, but you can’t just come back like nothing. I’d rather you both get it over with instead of dragging it out for weeks. Then I get caught in the middle.”

Spike frowned.

“So, this is for your benefit then?”

The lightness in Jet’s voice stiffened.

“It’s for everyone’s. You just gotta be straight with her.”

With that, Jet walked off in search of Edward. Spike stood there in thought. He knew Jet was right and, in this case, he definitely owed Faye an explanation. But talking wasn’t exactly his strong suit.

“Where are we going?”

Spike heard Ed’s excited voice as they approached from down the hallway.

“We’re going to see the lights,” Jet replied. Edward’s face lit up at the idea. As soon as she spotted Spike her limbs were wrapped around him in an instant.

“SPIKE PERSON!”

The man grunted. “Hey kid.”

While Ed looked light, she had a lot of force.

“Shh-Ed! Come on, I told you to stay quiet.” Jet reprimanded, then took hold of the girl before adding, “She’s in the common room!” He situated Ed in the hammerhead and after a bit argument, Ein was let in too. The three were soon off.

After a couple of minutes, Spike decided he’d stalled long enough and took himself up to the main room. He paused at the top of the stairs to take in the sight before him. There was a mess of Christmas decorations everywhere, some spilled popcorn and empty cans of Pippu lying about and an ugly decorated tree that took up way too much space. The only noise in the room came from the small monitor that quietly played an old Christmas cartoon. Then of course, the sight that took most of his attention, Faye laid out across the yellow sofa, seeming to be in a comfortable sleep with holly strung across her. Her sweater hugged the small round of her belly and some of it peeked out from the beneath.

Eventually he made his way down the stairs and over to her. Spike couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding on something too precious. She looked so peaceful the way she was, her mouth slightly open and her hair loosely tussled, some of it covering her eyes. It was almost hard to believe she was the same woman that could make his blood boil like no other. His gaze then lowered to her stomach and he found himself wildly tempted to place his hands on the swell. Instead, he settled for sitting on the side of the table and moving some hair from her face.

_She needs you_

Jet’s words echoed in his mind and he wondered just how true they were.

His feelings towards Faye were a bit confused, her place in his life had changed so drastically in a short period of time. The image of her yelling nonsense at him while tied to their toilet entered his mind and he had to wonder how in the world they got where they were.

What he did know for sure was she’d weaseled her way into a place in his heart just as she did his life, as corny as it sounded. He cared about her. And yet he’d already failed her twice.

Faye stirred. Spike was quick to move away, worried she was going to wake up. He examined the chaotic tree as he listened to her rustling and tired groans. After a moment he heard her still.

The silence seemed to go on forever.

“Spike?”

He turned around, she was sitting up on her elbows, looking hazy.

“Hey.”

Was all he could muster.

Faye collected herself and sat up while rubbing the sleep from her eyes. To say she was shocked was an understatement, but she was good at appearing otherwise. She pulled down her sweater and stood to her feet.

“Hey?”

Her voice was quiet, and he couldn’t tell if she was angry or still tired.

Maybe it was both.

“You're back,” she continued.

“Yeah.”

Silence.

Back to square one, he thought.

“Faye listen-“

“It’s a boy.”

“Huh?”

“I’m having a boy.”

His train of thought was brought to a halt as he processed this sudden information.

“You’re? Having a boy?”

“Yes. Me. Where were you?”

The tenseness in her voice made itself clearer with each word she spoke. The fact that she wasn’t already outright yelling at him made him aware that she was upset on another kind of level.

“I-“

“Why did you go like that?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

“Yes. I am, I-“

“Do you know how humiliated I feel?”

“Will you let me talk for a sec-?”

“No! No, I won’t let you talk!”

Which was completely unreasonable since she kept asking questions.

“You told me you were gonna be here,” she continued, “you made everything seem okay and then you just disappeared! Out of nowhere, without saying anything!”

Spike tried his hardest to keep his patience in check, but he couldn’t help his natural instinct to be aggravated by her hostility.

“Shit- like you’ve never disappeared!? I’m here now aren’t I?”

He quickly regretted this little outburst.

Faye stopped and laughed at this.

“This is so not the same! What? Am I supposed to celebrate now? Thank God Spike decided to show up!”

_Yes._

“I’m sorry.”

Spike said again.

He wanted to say more, but he couldn’t get anything out in the silence that passed between them again. He should have planned this better.

Faye slowly inched closer to him, she thought about his words. She had to wonder for a moment if she would have taken off too, had she been able to. She didn’t want to think about that answer. Faye spoke, her voice smaller and almost pained.

“Anytime you left in the past I didn’t have a reason to take it too personal, even if it did hurt on some level. Even if I wanted to.” Her thoughts passed over their supposed final encounter a year ago. “This time though…I just feel so betrayed.”

_Abandoned._

_Like never before._

Spike nipped at the inside of his lower lip. That stung.

“I wasn’t even positive you’d be back. I don’t know if I can trust you…”

He bit harder.

Earning Faye’s trust wasn’t an easy thing to do but losing it sure was. He imagined earning it back would be even harder.

“Can I?” she questioned.

His answer didn’t really matter.

“Yes. I want you to.”

Honesty.

A heavy breath.

“I screwed up Faye, I know. I’m figuring it out and I know it may not be fair to you or the baby, but I’m trying.”

“What are you figuring out?”

“I just feel…”

Why was this so hard?

“What?”

Just say it.

“Just say it!”

“I feel like I don’t deserve any of this! And I don’t think I’m going to do a good job! I’ve failed anyone who’s ever tried to count on me.”

_Mao, Annie, Vicious, Julia, Jet, Ed, Faye, and now even his unborn child._

_It was all starting to make sense._

“I have nothing to give. I wasn’t raised conventionally, I don’t know how to be an example, and I’ve killed more times than I can count. I just know how to chase dreams. Not live them. I’m my own fucking poison.”

Faye was stumped.

She wasn’t expecting him to say any of that. It was probably the most he’d said to her ever. It was an odd notion to think Spike Spiegel actually had insecurities. She’d always seen him as cool, confident and sure of himself. In fact, it was what she envied about him.

The woman took a deep breath then pushed some hair behind her ears and sunk to the floor in front of the table. This slightly alarmed Spike, who thought for a moment she was going to faint on him or something of the sort. This was put to rest when he saw her sit calmly with her legs out and rested her hands on the lower part of her stomach.

“My back just hurts,” she half-heartedly explained.

Eventually Spike sunk down next to her but kept his distance.

“Sorry. That your back hurts. Well, and about everything.”

“I’m not going to tell you how you should feel,” she started, ignoring his apology, “but you know, you told me I didn’t have to be perfect-“

She cut herself off with a grunt of frustration.

“you’re always giving me advice that you don’t even follow yourself!”

Spike knew that was true.

Always easier to preach than to practice.

“Do you think I have all of those things or something? You can’t just take the easy way out. If this is going to work.”

“How do you mean?”

“Maybe instead of running away from your issues you can actually acknowledge them?”

_How hypocritical_ , but the past didn’t matter anymore.

“And try to fix them…both of us, I mean.” She sat up on her knees and turned towards him. “I’m here too ya know? If you’d let me be.”

Spike was silent, but thoughtful.

“And Jet too,” she quickly added, still naturally putting up her wall against their personal relationship.

She was being sincere. Truly reaching out to him.

Had she ever done that for anybody? Certainly not just anyone.

How could he turn away something like that?

“Sure.”

He said it with earnestness.

“Taking off on me is one thing, but he doesn’t deserve that.”

Her thumb gently rubbed the area where her hands rested.

“He- right. A son huh?”

A smirk threatened his face and he wanted badly to reach out.

Baby steps.

“Yeah. I lost the bet.”

Spike shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter.”

A pause.

“I know he doesn’t,” he ultimately answered.

Faye wanted to trust him wholeheartedly, but in all honesty she couldn’t. She wasn't even sure she forgave him. There was always a hurdle to overcome when it came to Spike and she was nonsensically willing to jump.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You stink.”

Spike froze.

“All the cigarettes.”

He excused.

“Go shower.”

“Yup.”

He got up and was quick to exit the room. Faye looked down where he previously sat and found he left behind a small box from a store she didn’t recognize. A bow was placed lazily on top. Curiously she opened it up and there in tissue was the tiniest green onesie with animals on it. Faye chuckled. It was sweet.

**-The Baby Diaries-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, updated at last! This was supposed to be up pre-Christmas, but all well. It’s snowing where I am, so guess it still fits haha. And, okay I just realized how to format this the way I format it in my word document lol. So, that's what's with the format change.  
> Hope ya’ll enjoy this update, and if you didn’t know yet, I now have a Tumblr page dedicated to this fic and fan-fiction/fandom in general. I don’t have many posts up yet, but I soon will.
> 
> Till next time Space Reader!
> 
> Tumblr [BeccaNoodles] - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/beccanoodles  
> Hope to see you there!


	16. Behind

~Trimester 3~

The weeks flew by.

Things on the ship settled into their familiar routine. Faye joined Ed in all of the bounty homework while Jet and Spike went out to catch the bad guys. There was tough luck as usual, but things had been far better than they ever had been when it came to the Bebop and bounties. Jet took notice to Spike’s new lack of recklessness. Subtle, but there, nonetheless. It still did not change the fact that there would need to be a career change in the near future. But Jet worried he was the only one who could see it. There was no way they’d be able to afford a baby on a bounty salary. Or the risk.

_Just give them time_ , he reminded himself.

Not all could simply be put back in place of course. Things were different between Spike and Faye, as they always seemed to be. Their spirits towards each other constantly changed, it was enough to make the man dizzy.

So, most of the time, he just listened.

“How about Rex?”

“Rex? Are you serious?”

“What? It’s a strong name. It means king.”

“Sounds like some kind of cleaning supply or something.”

Faye gave a hard grunt and tossed the baby name book away.

“It’s not any stupider than your name,” she grumbled.

“Fine. It’s still stupid.”

“Whatever.”

Spike leaned forward to grab the book and browsed. As he did, he spoke again with resentment.

“Not like you haven’t shut down any of my ideas.”

“For the millionth time, we are not naming our kid Bruce.”

“Why not? He’s a legend!”

“UGH, I’m so sick of hearing about Bruce Lee, don’t start!”

“Bruce lee, cup of tea, he he he,” Ed mumbled off to the side while, yet again, engrossed in her tomato.

Jet decided to intervene.

“Alright Faye, you don’t have to get so excited.”

The look she gave him could have sent him flying.

“You don’t get it Jet. He wants to name him Bruce _Lee_ Spiegel. Like the whole name!”

“It sounds cool!” Spike defended.

“It sounds ridiculous!” Faye rebottled.

Jet groaned in the distance. The argument of names had been going on for almost an hour.

“Besides,” she continued, “Who says he has to be Spiegel anyways?”

Jet tensed.

“What?” was Spike’s sharp, yet awkward reply. “That’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

“Says who?”

“Says everyone!”

Jet finally stood to his feet.

“You know what! Let’s take a break from the names. Spike I need your help with something anyways.”

Spike looked up at Jet curiously and Faye struggled a bit to get on her feet.

“Fine,” she started, “I have some shopping to do.”

Spike’s attention turned back to her.

“Shopping?” he questioned.

“Yes, the baby needs things.”

“By yourself?”

“Yes. Is that okay with you?”

The sarcasm in her voice was highly evident.

“ _Yes_ ,” Spike strained with irritation to her tone.

With that, Faye walked out of the room to collect whatever she needed before she left. Attitude and all.

“I don’t know why the hell she’s being so- that way!” Spike revealed, frustratedly.

Jet scoffed.

“What do you mean you don’t know why? She’s seven months pregnant and she has to deal with you.”

Spike glared at him. Jet laughed and whacked his upper back.  
  


“Come on, I’m kidding around. You should try to cut her some slack though. Ya know…women are already emotional and then with a baby and all…just not the best territory.”

“Maybe. Or she’s still holding a grudge against me.”

“Maybe. You can’t fix everything at once Spike. Now come on, I wanna show you something.”

Jet led Spike to the ship’s last vacant room. It was originally supposed to be for Ed, but she didn’t have many things and slept wherever she fit. They stepped into the room and Spike was caught off guard by what he saw. One of the walls were painted with a variety of moon rocks, stars and spaceships. There were old paint cans, brushes and a variety of other materials laid about.

“What’s this? Is this for the baby?”

Jet ginned wide and gave him a confirming nod.

“That’s right! He’ll need a nursery. It’s the perfect location too, right next to Faye and right across from you!”

Spike stuck his hands in his pockets and walked about the room to examine the wall décor.

“Wow. And you did all of this?”

“Actually, Faye did it.”

Spike looked back at him in surprise.

“Faye?”

“Mhm.”  
  


“She painted this? It’s actually decent.”

The art was amateur, but nicer than he would have expected from her.

“I know, I was surprised too.”

“Thought she gave it up.”

“She’s had a lot of time on her hands. Spent hours in here until I had to coax her out!”

“So, what did you need my help with exactly?”

“The baby needs more than painted walls, right? I wanna surprise her with some furniture.”

“You bought furniture?”

“No. I bought wood and instructions. We’re doing this from scratch my friend.”

“Wood? From scratch? Is that even safe?”

“Sure! The kid doesn’t need those fancy space beds. We’ll do this the old-fashioned way! And low-budget too…”

Ed ran into the room with a bag of tools.

“The instruments are here sir Jet-person!”

“Thanks Ed. Stick around, I’ll give you a job.”

Edward was very excited by this and with some reluctance, Spike followed suit.

Sure, he could make his kid’s bed.

**…**

February 2073

Dear Baby,

I wish those guys at the weather station would send the cold away already, but then again, I’m not so sure they should. Then I’ll have to wear less clothes, which means feeling bigger than I already do. Everyone says I’m ridiculous for thinking such things, even the people in my books, but what do they know? Are they me? You’re getting heavy by the way…have I mentioned that? It’s okay, I don’t mind carrying you.

Your father has been back for almost a month now. In all honesty, I'm really happy about it. For you mostly, but your mother can be quite complicated...so i'm navigating my best. No matter what, I'll make sure you come first.

In other news, your kooky doctor finally gave me a due date! We should be expecting you on April 20th 2073…It’s odd. If my life had played out differently you might be my grandchild instead. Maybe even a great grandchild. That’ll be an interesting story to tell you. I think you’ll have lots of interesting stories to hear about. That’s what comes with having cool parents.

You better think I’m cool by the time I show you this.

I’m doing some shopping for you today. Clothes, diapers and all kinds of necessities.

I can’t wait to meet you…

Your mother.

**…**

Her back ached, her ankles hurt, and she was unfortunately dying for a cigarette.

Faye waddled side by side with Kelsie, until they found another store to enter.

After their first meeting, the two just so happened to share their next two appointments. The girl sort of grew on Faye and when Kelsie suggested they do some shopping together, there was really no reason to say no. Something about having a friend unrelated to the Bebop sounded appealing, especially a female one.

“What do you think about this one Faye?”

Faye turned towards Kelsie’s voice, where she held up an extremely poofy pink dress.

“Wow. It’s…fluffy.”

Kelsie giggled, “yeah, I guess it is a little extra huh? I have too many dresses already, but I can’t help it, I’m a girly girl!”

Faye smiled, “At least you get to look at dresses. I’m not really sure how to dress a boy…” She looked down into her basket. There were a variety of things from bottles to blankets and lots of clothes. Kelsie had suggested she buy a couple of sizes up as well, since babies grow fast. The girl even helped her create a “Must Needs” checklist.

“I think you have some cute things in there.”

“Thanks. Do you really think he’ll need all of this though?”

“Oh, trust me Faye, I may not have had my child yet, but close sources say you can kiss your own expenses goodbye when it comes to kids. They need a lot of things, on top of your love and attention!” She laughed it off as she walked towards the pay counter.

Faye frowned a little and wondered how that woman could be so confident despite her pending loses.

The two soon-to-be mothers finished up their shopping and decided to grab a bite to eat. Faye thought it best to cover up her bad craving with other cravings instead. It didn’t stop the subtle bouncing of her leg.

“Do you ever get a little overwhelmed by all of this?” Faye asked this as she eyed her many shopping bags. Her wallet was still sore from the price total.

Kelsie agreed as she chewed on her burger. “Oh yeah,” she swallowed, “that’s why I like lists! All it takes is a little bit of planning and managing.”

Faye gave a sigh of hopelessness; she wasn’t much of a planner.

“You seem to have an answer to everything,” she whined before munching on some fries.

“Not really. What else can you do but be positive right?" Kelsie's smile faded a bit. "You know, this isn’t at all how I pictured my life. Thought I’d still be working at this great job. Eventually get married, have a nice house, a nice husband, all before I had any kids…kind of corny right?”

Kelsie was going to be a single mother. The story was actually quite dramatic, yet a tale as old as time. A woman caught up in an affair with a married man and all that came with it. Faye didn’t judge her. In a way, she had been caught up with a married man too. A man married to death and another woman’s heart. At least Kelsie learned from her mistakes.

Faye would probably do it all over again.

“No. It’s not.”

_Family_ is the very best thing.

“Well, I don’t think I’ll be getting that anytime soon. Despite everything, I do hope her dad comes around at some point. Not for me, but for her…He thinks I took something from him, he doesn’t even care about what he’s taking from her. I just don’t want her to suffer for my mistakes."

Faye watched her thoughtfully and they continued their late lunch with conversation of other things.

**…**

Spike and Jet stood back once the entirety of their work was complete. Both were quite disheveled from the labor, but they each wore a happy grin as they admired their handywork. A full and sturdy crib stood before them.

“And the job is complete gentlemen!” Edward ran about in front of the two with an empty paint brush in hand, Ein followed close behind.

“Well shit,” Jet started, “gotta say, I’m a little surprised we finished in one day! What do you think Spike? It looks good, right?”

Spike’s grin only widened. “Yeah, I guess we're just naturals huh?”

The two men laughed boyishly.

“All that’s left is the mobile bassinet and the changing table!” Jet added.

Spike’s grin faltered as looked at the older man, “wait there’s more?”

“Sure, the baby needs more than just a crib! But we can hold off on those for now.”

Spike scratched his head in thought. Jet continued, “The ship will eventually need some baby proofing too. You know when he starts moving around.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he answered.

“Just think about how much work you put into your starship. Now you’ll just put it into your actual baby.” Jet laughed.

Spike slumped a bit as he mentally mourned his losses.

“Edward wants to paaaint!” came her excited booming voice. Jet took hold of her, “Ed, stop running! You’re making me light-headed.”

“You should wait Ed, see what Faye wants to do with it,” Spike added.

“By the way, she left when we started and she’s not back yet, should we call?” Jet asked.

Spike agreed and the three of them made their way back into the main room of the ship. After Jet checked in with Faye he decided to work on dinner. Edward continued with her usual activities nearby while Spike sat in front of the main monitor. He admired the collection of sonogram photos that had developed over time. It was quite amazing to see the evolution.

There were Four in total. The first one he remembered from their first visit, the next two were acquired while he was away. As he looked at the photos, he couldn’t help but feel bad, like he missed out on too much already, even though his child wasn’t there in person yet. The most recent image was taken while he was back on the ship. Faye had snuck out on him. Spike wasn’t really upset, he couldn’t blame her for not wanting to include him, he just hoped it didn’t continue to play out that way.

The sound of the door above them could be heard and Faye struggled to enter the room, many bags in hand.

“Oh, good, HELP!”

Faye tossed some bags over the rail and both Spike and Ed were quick to reach for them. Or in Ed's case, let them land on her artfully.

“What the hell is all this stuff?” Spike started.

“Bottles, diapers, bibs, you name it- oh and the cutest little cowboy outfit!” She enthused as she placed down the last of her bags on the table.

Spike scoffed, “A cowboy outfit? You couldn’t have gotten him a suit or something sleeker?”

Faye glanced at him with trivial irritation, “If you want him to have a suit, you get it.” She plopped down on the sofa.

“Maybe I will.”

Jet then entered the room, apron and all.

“Hey you’re back! What’s all this?”

“Things for the baby, wanna see?”

Jet helped Spike situate all of the bags and sorted through a couple of them.

“Woah, looks like you got some good stuff in here Faye!” Jet commented as he pulled out a mini diaper genie.

“Uha, I have a list!” She stated with pride.

“But you carried this around by yourself?” He continued, “You shouldn’t be lifting heavy things.”

“It wasn’t heavy, just a lot…I’m perfectly capable,” she responded, all the while rubbing her lower back. Spike took note of this.

Edward giggled to the side, “What are these for?” she asked as she held up her fingers with tiny mittens on them.

“Be careful with those Ed,” she attempted to get up and reach forward for them, but Spike took hold of them for her instead. “Don’t make her get up Ed,” he loosely reprimanded before he examined the items himself.

Faye and Jet eyed him curiously. She then answered the question.

“They’re so the baby doesn’t scratch himself.”

“Babies do that?” Spike asked and Faye shrugged.

  
“Apparently so.”

“Well, dinner is about ready,” Jet started, “but before that we want to show you something now that you’re here.” He looked to Spike for approval and the man agreed.

“Show me something? Like what?”

“It’s something good Faye-Faye!”

Jet helped her up and covered her eyes with his hands.

“What are you doing- “

Spike took her hand, which startled her for a moment.

“Just follow our lead,” Jet answered.

Faye decided it was best to comply and let them lead the way, all the while she mentally contemplated how warm Spike’s hand felt.

Finally, the group made it inside of the room and Jet removed his hands in a swift motion. Faye looked forward and was genuinely stunned by the sight of the crib.

“A crib!” she called out, “it’s wood!” Both men examined her face to see whether or not she was happy about that. Her smile gave them the answer they’d hoped for.

“How cool, they don’t make them like this anymore!” she said as she wobbled over to the crib to get a better look at it. Jet and Spike both sported stupid grins. “Did you make it?” she asked Jet.

“Spike and I did.” Faye glanced over to Spike, a little surprised by the fact.

Edward bounced out with excitement, “And Ed jump tested it!”

Spike spoke up, “just to make sure it was sturdy.”

Jet spoke up again, “There’s a couple of more pieces to add. Thought it would make it a little easier on you.”

Faye smiled again in their direction, a smile that no one saw often. She wasn’t sure what about the gesture made her feel so warm, but she felt really thankful in that moment. No matter all that was on her mind, a moment like that mattered a lot.

This baby would be truly loved.

Then she sniffled.

“Damn, I can’t help it.”

She said through shielded silly tears. Jet laughed and Edward carefully swung herself around Faye while Ein hopped around at her feet. Spike merely watched in the distance, but with a smile of his own.

Let’s follow that damn light.

**-The Baby Diaries-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullooo~  
> Okay guys, so I was looking over the entire story and I realized I have been all over the place with this pregnancy timeline...like how far along Faye has been at certain points. *FACE PALM* Maybe you haven't noticed, but for me it has been a HUGE headache because it's messing up some of my plans lol. Something I also wished I had done was spend a bit more time on Spike's absence, but I think I was too eager to get him black haha. Well, i'm not planning to change too much, but I will fix those timeframe issues for the overall story and let you know when it's done if you care for that clarification. 
> 
> UPDATE: Turns out I only needed minor tweaking on the above note ^ just my bad math skills LOL.
> 
> Also, thanks so much for the support on the Tumblr page!! Shoutout to an anonymous user who answered my question of the day about baby names. You actually had the same kind of idea as me about bringing up Bruce Lee! Lol, i've seriously been wanting to write that portion forever! 
> 
> Thanks again, Till Next Time Space Readers~
> 
> Tumbr- @BeccaNoodles - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/beccanoodles


End file.
